THE BLOG

How Not to Have an Affair!

02/10/2014 15:25 BST | Updated 02/12/2014 10:59 GMT

It may sound condescending, but when it comes to having an affair, even the most successful people on the planet can't get it right. Politicians, film stars, and some of the great historical leaders of our time, have played away from home and made some terrible decisions as their desire has superseded their common sense, making the headlines and creating a headache for all involved.

Whilst having an affair is never the answer to saving a marriage, they have been going on since the beginning of time and are part of human behavior, whatever the sex. If anyone knows how to have an affair, it's Me! As the relationship expert and spokesperson for the UK's largest dating site for married people, IllicitEncounters.com, I am here to give you my 'deadly sins of affairs', aka, don't ever make any of these affair mistakes and your secret love will stay secret. Surely what every adulterer wants, no?

Don't have an affair with your spouse's best friend, ever

"This is probably the ultimate betrayal - cheating with someone in your spouse's friendship circle, or life. Don't do it. If you're going to embark on an affair choose someone that has zero connection to your life and spouse, that way minimal hurt will be caused, which I'm sure is foremost in your mind"

Celebrity Sinner - Keiran Hayler

Don't do it at work

"Another classic affair fail is getting frisky with a colleague for so many obvious reasons: your work and reputation can suffer if you're found out, and in some cases, you can lose your job, not to mention the respect of your co workers. Don't mix business and pleasure - the risks are too high with very little chance of success, in any area."

Celebrity sinner - Rupert Sanders and Kristen Stewart

Don't start it on social media

"Social media has become a massive modern ingredient in the way we meet people, with plenty of affairs starting and swiftly ending as partners discover private messages from illicit lovers. It's not smart or clever and 9 times out of 10, you get caught, so why risk it - sign up to IllicitEncounters.co.uk instead."

Celebrity Sinner - Jason Manford (Caught via Twitter and Facebook)

Don't get it on with the home help

"Many a celebrity has been caught getting close to the PA, nanny or indeed housekeeper a la Arnold Schwarzenegger, but it breaks the same deadly sin as No 1, only this is potentially worse as it often means the act of adultery takes place within the family home - another go no for affair success. Do not indulge - it's a lazy and stupid thing to do."

Celebrity Sinner - Jude Law

Don't be sloppy with your mobile Phone

"Suspicion often starts when people notice their partner being secretive with their mobile phone. It's a tell-tell sign that they have something to hide, even if they're not indulging in a physical affair they may be flirting and testing the water. From my experience even the slightest change in behavior is easily detected and can cause big problems and trust issues within a relationship, so be tech-smart."

Celebrity Sinner - Danny Cipriani, Vernon Kay

Don't go with hookers

"Not much to say on this one. Each to his own, but for the spouses, it's a pretty painful way to discover your partner doesn't want sex with you, and will pay a stranger. Ouch.

Celebrity sinner - Hugh Grant

Don't have a love child

"Unless you're a total idiot, having a child outside of your marriage is a selfish and irresponsible act which even the most loyal of wives rightly cannot forgive - are you surprised? Having an affair is one thing, but creating another life via your illicit lover can have a devastating effect on everyone involved, for the rest of your life."

Celebrity Sinner - Liam Gallagher