Many people cant find it within themselves to say anything positive and take pleasure from flagging up someone's shortcomings. Don't make it about you, as these people need to feel superior because they are so insecure and the only way they can do so is project their own flaws onto another person. They do it with everyone.
Over the years I have done extensive research, read endless authorised biographies, studied body language and carefully observed the communications skills of highly successful people. I learnt it wasn't about luck but about choosing the right attitude, taking action, changing behaviour, taking one step at a time, one goal, one priority at a time, a day at a time.
n many ways, this is how previously closed doors to your self-development, will begin to open. You could start by asking those near to you, how their lives are. This one action, will enable you to understand how life is for others. And by so doing, you will start to see the impact stuff has on them, therefore, focusing less on you.
I was recently neknominated by a friend. For those of you who have been living on a desert island (that has no internet access) for the past couple of months, Neknominate is an internet-spread drinking game whereby the nominated drinks a pint of alcohol (often beer) and then passes on the nomination to someone else via social media...
For someone adopted who has already been abandoned, the fear of abandonment is a real and present danger. With a narcissistic mother, the abandonment actually occurs, again and again and again, reinforcing the truth that you are unloveable unless you meet the standards set out for you. And even then...
Being home with my son was a battle. A battle against the wolf. That wolf lurked and lingered. It undermined me and my choices. I watched it circle the house as it watched me feed the baby. "You don't know what you're doing". "You call yourself a mother." The taunts were piercing. I was shattering a little more each time.
You never step back and take a look inside yourself and ponder your shortcomings, instead you minimise, alter or deny them. You are not vigorously honest with yourself. You never pause and observe your behaviour without judgement. You are too busy taking everyone else's inventory, yet not willing to take your own.
Personality tests are used to filter the serial killer from the shopgirl, the transparent from the transvestite and the popstar from the pervert. I still get that incredible feeling of excitement if I go for a job interview and they ask me to fill out a multiple choice questionnaire to deem if I'm worthy of working for them.