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Festival Fashion Fears Revealed

10/06/2013 13:55 BST | Updated 07/08/2013 10:12 BST

With festival season upon us, my FOMO (fear of missing out) goes into high gear. From Coachella to Sonar, Primavera to Bestival, there are simply too many great festival line-ups to choose from this summer. If you, like me can only face one maybe two festivals a year thanks to the swarming crowds, the mud-slinging and the porta-loos, you've got to make sure you choose wisely.

But as my FOMO rises, so do my festival fashion fears - those hideous don'ts you see men brazenly committing over the course of any weekend. Here are my worst offenders.

The T-Shirt worn as a hat

This is a lazy style solution and is never a good look. Instead, opt for a panama style hat or straw trilby. Not only will it protect you from the sun but it will also hide the fact your hair probably needs a good washing by the end of the weekend. Sport with an inexpensive pair of aviators, as the chances are your shades will be broken or lost by the end of the festival.

The low-cut vest

This is a look that's hard to carry off and is basically the male equivalent to girls in short shorts. It's a look that is seen a lot as summer kicks off, but it's definitely not for everyone. You don't need to follow the fashion crowd and when in doubt, wear a classic T-Shirt. Stick to dark colours over grotty festival weekends as they'll also hide the dirt more easily.

Personalised logo T-Shirts

This one is debatable as we all have our versions of funny, however the stag do-meets-festival "Big Balls Barry" logo T-shirts isn't a style winner. Instead, stick to wearing non-offensive graphic prints or retro cool band tour T-Shirts. And extra bonus points if you were at The Kills concert at Lollapalooza 2008 and have the T-shirt to prove it.

The Man-Kini

It's a simple rule - keep your trousers on! I'm a festival fan for a cargo or longer cut shorts. Forgo any camouflage print but ensure that you have enough pockets to carry cash and essentials, not least that much needed hand sanitiser.

The sandals

This isn't so much a don't as a warning. If you do wear sandals, (and I'd be wary of doing so at any potential UK mud-fest), be sure to give some added TLC to your feet and toenails. Nothing looks worse than your neglected feet from winter on display. Best bets are an already worn trainer for warm weather festivals or boots for UK-based festival adventures.

Water hydration packs

Sure, the festival conditions are rough (or let's be honest, you may simply want to smuggle prohibited booze into the festival), but turn down the drama dial. Instead of parading around the grounds looking like you're on an outdoor safari, chill out and simply carry a water bottle, or better yet buy a beer.