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Leave Ben Innes Alone: I Say Thumbs Up to His Hijacker Selfie

30/03/2016 15:27 | Updated 30 March 2016

EgyptAir plane passenger Ben Innes is getting a lorry load of flack just now, not only for having his photo taken with an ostensible suicide bomber, but also because his selfie was technically inauthentic, on the grounds that someone else took the picture.

Poor Ben - how can you burst the bubble of a man with chipmunk cheeks, who's grinning cheerfully in the manner of David Walliams, after swimming the English Channel. I suspect some envy is afoot, because technicalities aside, it probably is the "best selfie ever." It trumps anything ever taken in a toilet.

Ben is from Aberdeen, which is apparently the happiest place in Scotland; so should we really be surprised he told The Sun: "I just threw caution to the wind while trying to stay cheerful in the face of adversity." That's right, Ben - things work out best for people who make the best of things! "I figured that if his bomb was real I had nothing lose anyway." Ben believed he might die - I'd want a photo of myself before getting blown to bits too. It's like when you're on a night out and you take your selfies early, before your make-up mutates from Dita Von Teese to Marilyn Manson.

Even Ben's mum's been having a dig, arguing that it wasn't a certified selfie and telling him not to draw attention to himself. To be fair, from the look of Ben, I don't imagine it's the first time his mum's told him not to draw attention to himself. I suspect she's in a support group for the withered mums and dads of attention-seeking children, meeting every Tuesday for vodka and Valium with the parents of Geri Halliwell and Jeremy Clarkson.

But in response to allegations that it's "not a proper selfie" - Ben, I'm with you mate. I don't take proper selfies either. I've got short arms - I need more distance between myself and the camera, or my face looks like it's been reflected in the back of a spoon. I say, ignore the haters, but maybe work on what to do with your arms. You're looking a bit like a toddler who's being potty trained - I'm drawn to your crotch and wondering if a wet patch is about to appear.

I'd like to think that Ben will pop up on Celebrity Big Brother: "I'm best known for taking a selfie with a jilted husband who hijacked my plane." Alongside, "I got my tits out and married a footballer," and, "I had shit loads of surgery in a day," I reckon Ben would be one of the more recognisable housemates. It's just a shame he's wearing Ralph Lauren in the photo - if he'd been in a football shirt from Sports Direct, he could've been looking at a sponsorship deal from Mike Ashley.

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