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Why I Will Never Watch the Olympic Games Ever Again

Posted: 12/08/2012 00:00

When I was a younger man, far more impetuous, but as equally stupid as I am today, I made a wild claim.

It was when a relationship, with what I thought was the perfect woman, ended. In my youthful woe I claimed I'd never fall for another woman again.

Now, some years later (realising just how wildly stupid that claim was) I find myself in exactly the same position.

Only this time it's not a beautiful woman that's moving on in my life, leaving me hollow and emotional. This time it's something far more alluring and seductive - it's the London Olympic Games.

For the last two weeks I've dedicated every moment to this wonderfully ravishing temptress.

I've flirted with the endless joys of beach volleyball, water polo and synchronised 10m diving.

I've held a gaze across a crowded room with road and track cycling. I loved you.

I've awkwardly moved my arm around the shoulder of taekwondo. Call me sometime.

I've risked a kiss with track and field, heptathlon and the 5,000m final. It was wonderful, let's do it again.

I've even scoured the Internet for pictures (yeah, that's not cool - but I admit I've done it) of sports I will never, ever, understand.

And now it's all over, I'm a broken wreck of a man. I gave so much and now the games are moving on to a new, more exotic Brazilian lover called Rio. Thanks a bunch.

Before London 2012 started I wrote about why the media were turning the Olympics in to a bummer.

The endless negative stories about rain, security, blah, blah, blah, were getting me down. I knew, I think we all did, that once it kicked off, we'd love it.

Sure, there were a few hiccups along the way - the empty seats for one - but we worked through the bad times.

What we've been left with, the memories, the happy times, the soundtrack to the games, has been out of this world.

If it had not been for Team GB putting in a record-breaking performance it might have been different.

Regardless, my love affair with London 2012 has been an intensely, fulfilling, leg-shaker of an experience.

So when it all moves on, when people on tube trains aren't as friendly, when the Royal family aren't pictured snogging in public, and when I can't sit up until 2am watching minority sports, I'll be sad. I may, in moments of quiet reflection, even shed a tear.

It's because this time I've fallen for the real thing. Nothing else can ever compare to London 2012's perfection.

And for that reason I'm going make another wild claim: I will never watch the Olympics ever again.

Rio, you've got a long way to go to win my affection - but I'm happy to be proved completely wrong.

 

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When I was a younger man, far more impetuous, but as equally stupid as I am today, I made a wild claim. It was when a relationship, with what I thought was the perfect woman, ended. In my youthful wo...
When I was a younger man, far more impetuous, but as equally stupid as I am today, I made a wild claim. It was when a relationship, with what I thought was the perfect woman, ended. In my youthful wo...
 
 
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03:55 PM on 08/13/2012
"The endless negative stories about rain, security, blah, blah, blah, were getting me down" - isn't the British media famous for being extremely critical?
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whyus
San Francisco native
06:24 AM on 08/13/2012
I doubt I will watch again either, but not for the same reasons. They were Boring this year! And I used to like them.
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danny331
It was the pleasure of my life...
05:54 AM on 08/13/2012
Drama queen.
05:31 AM on 08/13/2012
Worthless column.
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Meerkatx
01:47 AM on 08/13/2012
If the Olympics are the seductress what did that make NBC?
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09:24 AM on 08/15/2012
Hey man, it's hard out here for a pimp.
08:17 PM on 08/12/2012
Boring
03:48 PM on 08/12/2012
Then you must make the journey to Rio!
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02:26 PM on 08/12/2012
Ha! Love the analogy - the Olympics as seductress.

What a loose woman tho,? Moving on every few years, seeking a new and potentially more exotic lover each time. Best to keep a cool head, eh?
01:05 PM on 08/12/2012
Ummmm... excuse me... it isn't over till the Para Olympics has finished! Wishing all those involved the best of luck and fun! A.
10:32 AM on 08/12/2012
I think Stephen Hull summed up everyones feelings,spot on.
Fantastic games.
07:24 AM on 08/12/2012
Thank god this is finishedhours and hours of eletist sport. The BBC seems to think that everybody in the uk is a sports nut. Do the people who dont watch sprts get a refund of the fee for these weeks. Nope? silly me.
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westcoast88
03:31 PM on 08/12/2012
I'll never understand how "elitist" (which you can't spell, how telling) and "elite" became insults. I guess some people can't handle their mediocrity or downright inferiority.
05:17 PM on 08/12/2012
OK so I SPELLED A WORD WRONG HIT THE WRONG KEY IRIOT GROW UP
BIG PERCENTAGE OF OLYMPIANS IN UK ARE PRIVATE SCHOOL AND UNI GRADUATES. .
I used to be a boxer and was also involved in cross country running. I was
quite good as well although never Olympic standard. This was due to financial
constraints more than anything.
05:59 PM on 08/12/2012
Goodness me how selfish to carry on so, it's a once in a lifetime thing, you'll probably never see it happen again, surely you can manage that. .
12:23 AM on 08/13/2012
Just watched closing ceremony. Spelling wrong again i expect. Good show thank god.
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Paul Vale
Home Page Editor, Huff Post UK
01:04 AM on 08/12/2012
Third best Huff Post blog I've read on the Olympics.

The top two?

Here:
http://huff.to/PKFF95

And here:
http://huff.to/NKYmP0
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Luke McGee
07:17 PM on 08/12/2012
Are you serious?
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09:27 AM on 08/15/2012
Bronze medal then. Could of got the gold, but the judge from Estonia wasn't very favorable of the sustained metaphor and only scored it a 5.7.
12:41 AM on 08/12/2012
I feel the same way, lol
12:00 AM on 08/12/2012
:You our suffering from the Sunday night blues. After a great weekend comes to a close the reality of going to work on Monday is difficult to face. Four years will give you a chance to forget the impact of your loss.
It has been a marvelous Olympics, congratulations to all of you Brits. Gosh, you had the Olympics and you still have Adele.
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Gnomish
ego doctus ignarus
11:34 PM on 08/11/2012
Rio is steeped in blood!

I won't be an enabler.
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cybolt
This Space for Rent
02:13 PM on 08/14/2012
But Great Britain?
Never!