Those watching Saturday's 100m preliminary round might have mistaken Timi Garstang for a games steward given the sedentary pace at which he ran. During the race, the Marshall Islands sprinter clocked an underwhelming time of 12.81 seconds. In this time, he was lapped twice by Usain Bolt who had heard the chimes of the Olympic ice-cream van. Garstang is one of just two Olympic athletes from the Marshall Islands and reports have stated that it was his "punctuality" was sufficient to merit inclusion in the London 2012 squad by chief sprint coach Timi Garstang senior.
Unfortunately, the fencing was marred by controversy as an officiating error lead to the reversal of a medal deciding result. With South-Korean Shin A-Lam seemingly having won the bout, a discrepancy between the referee and the official timekeeper led to one additional second of fencing. When the competition restarted, the A-Lam's opponent recorded a point to take the gold medal. This was to the protests of the Korean who remained on the raised fencing strip for over an hour after the fight had ended.
Reports suggest that the timekeeper in question was a 15-year-old volunteer. Ostensibly she was distracted by her crush's recent relationship status update, but it's unfair to blame a volunteer, 15 or otherwise, who should not have been given such a responsibility in the first place. After all, the only reason she was at the fencing in the first place was because she was local to he area and LOCOG had seats that needed filling. The costly mistake saw South Korea, team GB's closest rivals in the medal table, stripped of gold. The validity of this story has not been verified with the full identity of the timekeeper not officially disclosed. Several names have been put into the mix including that of none other than David Cameron.
Much has been made of Mo Farah's dedication to his sport. In the build-up to London 2012, the Somalian born distance runner covered 120 miles a week and temporarily relocated to Kenya to train with the world's best athletes. Farah's race strategy has been described as "pitch perfect" by Seb Coe and resulted in GB's first ever Olympic medal in the 10,000 metres. In an ironic turn of events, the Royal Mail has promised to paint a post-box gold in the hometown of each team GB gold-medal winner. As sweet a gesture as this may be, given the profligacy of operations at the Royal Mail's sorting office, if Mo Farah wanted to send a letter, I'd hazard a guess that he'd be better off taking it on foot. The Royal Mail recognizing athletes for speed and accuracy is equivalent to a McDonald's handing out awards for "mother of the year".
In spite of his Olympic success, Farah's gold medal pails in comparison with his triumph on ITV prime time game show "The Cube". Farah is the only person ever to have beaten the cube, doing so with 6 out of 9 of his lives still remaining. After the victory, Conservative MP Aiden Burley tweeted: "the cube is a socialist game show that unfairly favored Farah because of his African origins (1/2)".
"Bring back the Wheel of Fortune #johnleslie (2/2)"
Meanwhile, the Cube's enigmatic masked virtuoso "The Body" was magnanimous in acknowledging Farah's accomplishment, stating that it would restore it's credibility by competing in the Olympic heptathlon. As of yet, it is unsure which nation or which gender The Body will represent. For me personally, this raised a very poignant question after the succession of gold medals received by team GB athletes on Saturday. It's a question that's been playing on my mind for some time and a question that has evaded the attentions of a largely unsuspecting public. Tell me, when was the last time you saw Jessica Ennis and The Body in the same room?
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