NO ONE is saying having a baby is easy. But it is easier having one baby than it is having twins. The maths just dictates it.
I didn't want to write a post being all singleton bashing, not at all. I think all mums achieve incredible things and that every day, no matter many children you have, is full of achievements, struggles and triumphs as a mum.
However, being a first time twin mum is a different ball game to those first time singleton mummas. I've been chatting with my twin mum friends and we can't help but notice we're all thinking the same things. We all have the same fantasies and while we wouldn't swap our twinnies for the whole world (seriously it's double the love), sometimes we've just got to get on and get it out of our systems... THIS is what twin mums want to say to mums of one. Don't judge us for it.
You can give your baby all of you
All mums feel guilty but when there's just one baby in the mix you can give all your attention to that one child. When you're a twin mum you're constantly calculating exactly how many minutes you've been playing with one twin over the other and wondering if they've had an equal share of mummy time or daddy time, an equal amount of cuddles etc... the guilt trip is LONG when you're a twin mum.
You can enjoy the moment more
Marvelling in their little discoveries, photographing their tiny ears, enjoying them sleeping on you for an hour or so, with one baby you can cherish and indulge those precious moments with your bubba, but with two each moment is fleeting and you're so busy that you can't help but feel you're missing the magic as you spend all day desperately trying to stop the dreading double wailing and get through to bedtime.
You can travel around - you're still mobile!
Mums of one can nip here there and everywhere with their zippy single buggies or babybjorns. It's not as easy for twin mums.
Public transport is at least a two man job. Buses with a double buggy are not fun places to hang out. Trains require careful planning and the tube?
Don't even think about it.
Enormous buggy + 2 heavy loads + escalators + confined space = Impossible. If you want to see us it has to be walkable or we'll have to pay out for a taxi/finally learn to drive properly. (Maybe this one is just me).
We're jealous of your discrete breast feeding in public
Tandem breastfeeding in public? The world isn't quite ready for it yet.
Yes. I have my breasts out. Plural.
When your baby is asleep just remember that one of our babies might not be
Having two babies with exactly the same sleep cycle is hard to manifest. When your baby is sleeping, that is it. You have the freedom to do what you want with your time. For twin mums, when one baby is sleeping it's only half the battle. The other one has to fall asleep before you can do anything (go to the loo, brush your hair, wash up) and then you have to pray that the other one won't wake up straight away as soon as you put twin two down.
You can do the new mum thing, you can go to all the classes
You can go to the classes, you can enjoy rhyme time, you can sign up to baby sensory classes, you can go to mummy yoga. With two babies in tow the stress is doubled and the chances are that you'll spend any class you manage to attend fighting fires (i.e. stopping each baby from a meltdown), and that is no one's idea of fun.
We'll be sympathetic when you complain to us
But inside we'll be thinking about how you only have one baby. The only people we can truly complain to are our twin mum friends. We've got an understanding see...
You don't know what you're missing
OK, it's hard being a twin mum, grumble grumble etc, but singleton mums just won't understand how amazing the twin thing can truly be. Yes we're beyond tired and somewhat bitter, but we're also proud of our twinchievements and get through each day feeling like we've surmounted another mum shaped mountain. We also get to put the word twin into a whole load of other words - twinmazing, twinstagram, twintastic, twintwinsituation etc. There are so many special things with twins; the hand holding, the way they look at each other and giggle. The twin cuteness - matching outfits and reaching milestones together.
It's hard as f*** but it's still a total privilege being a twin mumma.
Now if someone could just come over and give us twin mums a break (about two weeks would do it) that would be amazing...
What do you wish you could say to mums of one/twin mums? Leave me a comment below!
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Image copyright belongs to Jutta Klee