Ok. I've had enough. I'm sure I can't be the only one who has had enough but I've cracked. I can't be the only one who is irritated by it but I really don't know what to do about it.
When I was growing up, the celebrities I looked up to were actors and musicians. They were people who had sacrificed normal lives and showed up on red carpets looking glamorous.
I watched Dallas and Dynasty and marvelled at the (fictional) world of excess whilst being relieved that I didn't have to encounter any of the nasty bitching that went with lives like that.
The brothers in the Ewing family were so mean to each other as everyone vied for Jock Ewing's attentions. Lucy was the waster youngest daughter that rode horses and behaved like a moron and the rest of the family despaired of her.
Now thirty years later, we seem to be celebrating the real-life Lucy Ewings. The waster daughter is the exalted.
I have always been fascinated by Hollywood glamour. I love the stories of the Rat Pack, men who worked and partied hard. I've always had a soft-spot for Sammy Davies Jr, an amazing dancer, actor and comic who experienced unbelievable prejudices but continues to inspire with his brilliance - compare Robbie Williams album Swing When You're Winning to the versions of Sammy's music if you need any proof.
When I'm in my local paper shop I glance at the magazines on offer and my eyes always flick over the covers. From the younger stars: Selina Gomez, Justin Bieber and the Jonas Brothers to those who've been around a while; Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez and Angelina Jolie.
In the past year I have often been confused as to who some of the cover stars are, and I've noticed the rise of what I figured was a new phrase - like "amazeballs". It's not. It turns out that "TOWIE" is a show. A show called; The Only Way Is Essex.
I took the time to tune in and was utterly appalled. These people are set up as "stars". They are not. They go about their lives. They are not actors or musicians, nor do they have any kind of career whether you approve of that career or not. Say what you like about Katie Price but she has provided for herself and is a self-made woman.
In recent years there has been a rise in people famous because a TV company has decided it would be a good idea to make them "stars". Jodie Marsh sprung to fame from a show called Essex Wives. They followed rich women in Essex and she was one of the spoilt kids. She has built an entire career out of that. Her Wikipedia entry describes her as a "TV personality". Wow. Having a personality has become a job? Since when?
The victim of this weird no-celebrity-celebrity culture I feel sorry for is Chantelle Houghton.
She was entered into Celebrity Big Brother house and the 'hilarious spin' was the fact that she wasn't a celebrity. The other celebs suspected, but weren't sure.
She ended up winning the show, by virtue of being a nice girl. When Michael Barrymore was interviewed afterwards he kept saying: "She's everything a celebrity should be"
No Michael. She is a nice person. A nice girl.
In the aftermath of Celebrity Big Brother she got together with Preston from The Ordinary Boys, that failed, she had a boob job and is now with Alex Reid - another victim of the empty media personality culture. The problem seems to be that by putting someone 'in fashion', sooner or later they go out of it.
It's not just the UK. I flicked through the E! Channel and every second trailer is a real-life documentary of some pretty girl with desperately sad eyes.
Rather than creating more media-personalities, maybe we should be helping people discover that true happiness can never come from inviting a TV crew to skip about with. Relationships with millions you never see can't console you the way a good chat with someone you love can. No wonder we have so many casualties.
I don't want to see my celebs warts and all. Can I just see them on the red carpet in a nice frock once they've finished work?
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