Ever texted LOL when the news is sad? Do you wonder where you should place "innit" in a sentence, and whether it should be conjugated?
You need the new app that translates the slang of UK youth into the kind of language silver surfers can understand.
Translations in the app include blud (a close friend), butterz (someone physically fit, but her face), scrilla (money), WTF? (what the f*ck?), ROFLMAO (rolling on the floor laughing my arse off) and ream (Essex expression denoting pleasantness).
The app has a few flaws, which may make it difficult conversing with certain age groups.
Brap lacks a definition, but we can confirm it mimicks the sound of a gun, denoting toughness, potential hip-hop fandom and a lack of understanding about the true pain gun crime inflicts.
We're not sure why anyone over 50 would not know what 'acid freak' means, since that phrase was last used in the 1970s.
Neither have we heard any kids on the number 12 bus to Peckham referring to an annivorcery (the anniversary of a divorce). Nor swagger. That's selfexplanatory, surely.
The app comes a tongue-in-cheek (we hope) warning that you have to be over 17 to use it.
Warning, using this app may result in the kind of abuse of terms like chill pill over the Christmas period, which makes oiks squirm. That, dear readers, is alright by us. Ya get me?