Theresa May Introduces 'Dumbos' For Stupid Crimes

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THERESA MAY DUMBO
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The Home Office's desire to end every new civil order scheme with the letter 'o' has resulted in the issuing of 'Dumbos' for particularly stupid crimes.

The move follows Theresa May's decision to ruin the word 'Crimbo' for everyone who has ever used it to mean Christmas.

"This is typical of the current government," said Shadow Home Secretary Yvette Fielding. "Not content with spoiling Christmas, they've now destroyed our affection for a cartoon elephant with huge floppy ears."

Opponents of 'Dumbos' also point to the risks involved in slapping orders on spectacularly dumb criminals.

"There is a real danger that these new orders will result in more and more stupid people being sent to prison," said Vicki Hello-Mattcardle, director of the Stupid Criminal Justice Alliance. "When there, they will simply eat their own shoes and watch The Jeremy Kyle Show. Although, to be fair, at least they won't escape."

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