You know what today really needs? A photo of a pig being hypnotised.
Yes, the amazing 'pig-whispering' Dutchman Kees Scheepens hypnotises pigs to 'uncover their stress attitude' - no, we don't quite understand what that means, either - and here he is in action in a pigsty in Duelmen, western Germany.
Scheepens (if only that surname was 'Pigpens') has already given advice to around 15,000 farmers. Although frankly, we're only going to be impressed if he gets these pigs to act like chickens, do a striptease or bite into onions thinking they're apples.
Researchers and crew from the Aurora Australis take photos of an Adelie penguin at Commonwealth Bay, 20km from Mawson's Hut in Antarctica. Obviously, it was the most photogenic penguin. Picture: AP Image/Dean Lewins
It's gonna be my year!
Raja, a 13-year old male Komodo dragon, is given a treat to help celebrate Chinese New Year at London Zoo. No word yet on whether it was what he asked for. Picture: Yui Mok/PA Wire
Watch out: they never forget
An Asian elephant does some 'exploring' with her trunk in her enclosure at Berlin's Zoologischer Garten. What happened next? We're not sure - the photographer was killed in the stampede*. Picture: JOHN MACDOUGALL/AFP/Getty Images *not really
I'm a coatis, get me out of here!
One of a recently born group of coatis (it's a member of the raccoon family, folks) is given a medical inspection by keepers at Melbourne Zoo. And is clearly very happy about it. Pictuer: AAP Image/Julian Smith
Rhinos tolerate rubbish birthday cake
Inkosi (left), the youngest Black Rhino at Port Lympne Wild Animal Park near Ashford, Kent, investigates a birthday cake as he celebrates his first birthday with his mother Ruaha. Apparently there was a disco afterwards. Picture: Gareth Fuller/PA Wire
OMG! I lost five ounces this week!
Alinga the koala sits on the hands of zookeeper Mario Chindemi shortly before being weighed during an inventory at the zoo in Duisburg, Germany. Slimming guru Rosemary Conley is just out of shot. Picture: PA/HORST OSSINGER
Penguins show off their snow sculpture
Adelie penguins stand by a sculpture marking the 100th anniversary of Douglas Mawson's landing - <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Mawson#Australasian_Antarctic_Expedition" target="_hplink">look it up</a> - in front of the Aurora Australis, wedged in fast ice in Commonwealth Bay, Antarctica. (See also slide No.1. Not sure if it's the same penguin.) Picture: AAP Image/Dean Lewins
Liverpool's bravest seagull - revealed
A seagull is undeterred by a plastic owl bird-scarer on the roof of Liverpool Coastguard Station at Crosby. Well, they do stick together, you know. Picture: Getty
Already hounded by the press
Uggie, the dog from <em>The Artist</em>, poses in the press room of the Golden Globe Awards. Fun fact: no one else wore the same red carpet outfit as him. Picture: PA/Hubert Boesl
Larry, the Downing Street cat, enjoys a stretch outside Number 10 Downing Street. At last, someone is getting their claws out for Cameron. Picture: PA