When a company like Microsoft releases a rap video to celebrate its own products, you're likely not going to enjoy the results. (Remember this?)
And when that product is a relatively obscure cloud computing system named Windows Azure, that likelihood is only increased.
Amazingly then, while Microsoft has just done exactly that the results aren't completely and utterly terrible.
Wisely Microsoft opted to have NoClue, who is officially the 'world's fastest rapper', take the mic and not one of its own staffers.
According to the Guinness Book of World Records, NoClue is capable of 723 syllables in 51.27 seconds -and while we're sure there's an intended link here with the Azure product (speed, clarity, etc) all we care about is that NoClue is probably the only man capable of putting "PHP" in a rap and without looking like an idiot.
So yes, the lyrics are bad. Yes, it's ridiculous. But it's still kind of awesome.
(Just don't think you're off the hook Microsoft... There will always be your SongSmith commercial.)
Take a look at the Azure clip above, and read the somewhat questionable lyrics below.
Somebody better ... Stop me,
Wait a minute ... They're not me,
Windows Azure got my back can't stop me,
Now ... Watch me,
Scaling web applications so promptly,
Organizing everything in a platform cloud,
Keeping everything together floating around,
Moving at the speed of light never slowing us down,
Comprise three recourses holding it down,
SaaS, software, paaS, platform, IaaS, infrastructure, together it last
We're thinking outside the box,
Staring though Windows,
Secured in a Microsoft data center,
Files send those,
Hosting storage see they commend those,
That's Azure Windows,
Modern day Manzoni, only in my prim and leaving them lonely,
Lonely oenone, there's nothing better you can show me homie,
I'll be using it and moving quicker then anybody,
It's not a hobby, and if you know... me, you know that
Put them in the back of an online backpack,
Moving... this quick so we don't lack,
Wait a minute..., no we gone quick, and that's that
Window Azure moving forward never back,
Staring through windows looking at hadoop, mongoDB, java, were on top
php, python--you can run them quickly.
Hosting storage they commend those.
Content Delivery Network, it's in those.
Creating websites in seconds Azure Windows.