British Jobs For Obama If He Loses The 2012 American Election

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It's the thought sending a shiver down the spine of the rest of the world - well, except Pakistan.

What if we wake up tomorrow to see President Obama shuffling out of the White House with a cardboard box under his arms and a tear in his eye?

While the American population who have actually had to live under the Obama administration is split between giving him another chance and banking on Mitt Romney not being the anti-Christ, us blinkered foreigners are still clinging to the President as the handsome, wise-cracking, smooth-talking antithesis to George W. Bush who swept us off our feet four years ago.

For that reason, even if he's rejected at the polls tomorrow, we'll be happy to welcome Obama to Britain with open arms to do any of the following high profile jobs...

andrew mitchell

TORY CHIEF WHIP
David Cameron's last resident headmaster was a classic ball breaker from the Tory old school - but look how that turned out. The chances of Obama being accused of calling a police officer a 'pleb' like Andrew Mitchell are practically nil. For one thing he's unlikely to know what it means - for another, he'd be far more likely to ride a skateboard to work and do a 360 back flip over the (correct) gate, high fiving the boys in blue as he goes.

danny baker

DAYTIME RADIO
How to replace the most charismatic man on British radio? Since Danny Baker's stunning F-you to the BBC for axing his popular daytime show last week, a sense of loss has lingered in the country's airwaves. Barack, with his reassuring tone, quick wit and well-placed musical contacts (a live session with Jay-Z or Bruce Springsteen, anyone?) could slot behind the mic comfortably.

adrianchiles

FOOTBALL ANCHOR
Let's face it, if Adrian Chiles has to endure a moment more in Roy Keane's dead-eyed glare he's going to burst out the ITV studio in a flood of snotty tears. If anyone can break the Irishman's surly facade it's Obama who'll have him giggling like a love-struck school girl in no time. A keen sportsman, Obama is probably already more knowledgeable about the game than Gareth Crooks, Mark Lawrenson and Robbie Savage put together: meaning the smug boy's club over on the BBC might finally be given a run for its money.

george entwistle

DIRECTOR GENERAL OF THE BBC
Coming under intense pressure in recent years for everything from ageism to the Jimmy Savile scandal to being too 'wacky' when covering Royal Jubilee, the BBC is in desperate need for charismatic, PR-savvy leader. George Entwistle's bumbling performance in front of a recent government select committee suggested he's not the man for the job: so how about Obama? Heading a national institution grudgingly funded by the public will appeal to the politician in him, and he might just dispense of embarrassing tosh like Doctor Who and Sherlock and commission some quality American-style TV dramas instead.

james bond

JAMES BOND
If Daniel Craig decides to go out on a high after the success of Skyfall, we nominate Obama as the next 007. Think about it: he's in pretty good shape, he has more than enough charisma to wisecrack as someone plunges to an ugly death and he's already taken down the world's number one terrorist. He'd also, of course, be landing another historic blow for racial equality by becoming the first black James Bond. All he has to do is master the English accent and he's good to go.

Any better suggestions? Let us know below!