Being abroad can be a troubling time for many of us Brits - lost money, sunburn and finding a fish and chip shop even though you're in the heart of the Mediterranean can all take their toll.

Some of us however, struggle more than most and require a little bit of extra help.

This is where the Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) steps in, ready to take control in a potentially life changing emergency...

... of which none of these are.

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  • Monkey Trouble

    Monkey throws stone. Stone hits man. Man is hospitalised. Man demands FCO assure him monkey will never do it again and he will get compensation.

  • Lost In Translation

    A man asked FCO staff in Rome to translate a phrase for a tattoo that he wanted

  • What Do You Expect?

    Consular staff in Beijing were asked to help a woman who had bought a pair of football boots that were ‘Made in China’ but were poor quality

  • Spermtastic?

    A woman requested that consular staff in Tel Aviv order her husband to get fit and eat healthily so that they could have children

  • I Demand An Education!!!

    Consular staff in Kuala Lumpur were asked by some rather misguided parents if the FCO could help pay to send their children to an International School

  • Cautious Or Creepy?

    A man asked consular staff in Stockholm to check the credentials of a woman whom he had met online.

  • I Bet

    A man asked the Consulate in Montreal for information to settle a £1,000 wager on the colour of the British passport

  • Ou Aye Lu Footie?

    A number of staff across the world have been asked for the best place to watch the football

  • Not A Morning Person

    One person requested a noisy cockerel be silenced

Mark Simmonds, Minister for Consular Affairs, said: "FCO staff help many thousands of British nationals facing serious difficulties around the world every year.

"We also receive over a million enquiries each year, so it is important that people understand what we can and cannot do to support them when they are abroad.

"We are not in a position to help people make travel arrangements or social plans, but we do help those who face real problems abroad.

"These can include victims of crime, bereaved families who have lost a loved one abroad or Britons who have been arrested or detained. We aim to continue to focus on supporting those who really need our help in the coming year."