It is the duty, nay, the pleasure, of the modern dad to chip in and change his newborn's nappies, no matter how full or retch-inducing they may be. Hell, even Prince William boasts about changing baby Prince George's dirty diapers.
But one dad-to-be with more money than dazzling white teeth says he will leave that doody duty to the mother of his child. Or a nanny. Or somebody. Anyone but him.
Yes, step forward and hang your head in shame,
And asked whether he would delegate to someone else, he replied: "Of course."
Simon also hinted that he will not let his baby get in the way when it comes to getting his beauty sleep.
Warned by Harry Hill, who has written The X Factor musical, that he would feel exhausted from sleepless nights, he replied: "Can't I just get a nanny?"
Only if you can afford one, Simon. Oh, sorry, you can. A whole army of them.