LIFESTYLE
12/05/2014 15:53 BST | Updated 12/05/2014 15:59 BST

Most Irritating Ad For Organic Lubricant 'Simply Slick' Is Enough To Say No To Sex

As kiddies songs go, Skip To My Lou is up there with the most irritating tunes of all time. So why organic lubricant company Simply Sticks chose it as the theme tune to flog their slippery stuff is beyond us.

Let's start with the main character who looks like a contestant from The Apprentice. We see her go through her office, picking up various objects while singing: "It's my choice what I put in me."

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With lyrics that won't be nominated for an Ivor Novello anytime soon, certain verses read like:

"I can put an apple in me, I can put Matteo in me and if I don't want to put Bob in me, that's my choice by gee."

Clearly the message is not to use your co-workers cucumber or Nancy's candy cane, but to be mindful of using a lubricant that won't destroy your insides.

But it's gone one step too far and eliminated any need for lube. We're swearing off sex for life.