COMEDY

How To Celebrate The World Cup Like An Englishman: 18 Dos And Don'ts

11/06/2014 17:51 | Updated 12 June 2014
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The World Cup is upon us once again. And if you want to celebrate it in style - ie like an Englishman - then simply follow these simple dos and don'ts...

  • 1 DO collect Panini stickers, even though you're a grown man
  • 2 DO paint your face red and white, even though you're a grown man
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  • 3 DON'T eat indoors. You must have a barbecue. Every evening. Throughout the entire tournament.
    Getty
  • 4 DO throw a sickie if there's a really good afternoon game on 
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  • 5 DO throw a sickie if you stayed up late watching a game the night before
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  • 6 DO buy loads of World Cup tat from supermarkets
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  • 7 DON'T mention penalties
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  • 8 DO sing 'Three Lions' at every opportunity
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  • 9 DO take part in an office sweepstake
  • 10 DO have mixed feelings if you get England in the office sweepstake
  • 11 DON'T be afraid to make your house look like this
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  • 12 DO put your hands on your head when watching in a group
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  • 13 DON'T leave the country
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  • 14 But if you have to, DO make sure you go somewhere where they show the World Cup in bars
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  • 15 DO mention the war
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  • 16 DO mention 1966
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  • 17 DO enjoy every bloody brilliant minute of it
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  • 18 DON'T get your hopes up
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