Landlubbers, it’s the time of year again when you’re obliged to don your finest swashbuckling attire and celebrate International Talk Like A Pirate Day.
As well as yelling indecipherable salty sea-dog phrases into each other’s faces and sticking a parrot on your shoulder, it’s a perfect opportunity to try out a buccaneer version of the language of love.
Take it away...
In terms of brushing up on high seas jargon, the basics - Ahoy! Avast! Aye!, Aye aye! and Arrr! - are pretty easy to master, and the founders of International Talk Like A Pirate Day have compiled a handy "how to" guide (with French, Dutch and German translations).
Just remember to always observe these simple rules:
Double up on all your adjectives and you'll be bountifully bombastic with your phrasing. Pirates never speak of "a big ship", they call it a "great, grand ship!" They never say "never", they say "No nay ne'er!"
Drop all your "g"'s when you speak and you'll get words like "rowin'", "sailin'" and "fightin'". Dropping all of your "v"'s will get you words like "ne'er", "e'er" and "o'er".
Instead of saying "I am", sailors say, "I be". Instead of saying "You are", sailors say, "You be". Instead of saying, "They are", sailors say, "They be". Ne'er speak in anythin' but the present tense!