LIFESTYLE
01/09/2015 17:24 BST | Updated 02/09/2015 11:59 BST

'How To Make Me Come': Blog Features Women's Sex Tips On The Female Orgasm

The idea of pleasuring a woman can frazzle any person's brain (some women included). And it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I mean, we aren't exactly taught about how to get pleasure out of sex at school. It's always been about logistics and how not to get pregnant rather than the actual enjoyment part.

With this in mind, the authors behind Tumblr blog 'How to make me come' have published a series of refreshing anecdotes and experiences from anonymous women about their sexual encounters.

"We wanted to start a dialogue about how women achieve sexual pleasure; something that is often ignored, devalued, or misunderstood," reads the blog.

female orgasm

"We felt such a rush from seeing a group of women opening up. It confirmed that this is something a lot of women are itching to talk about."

And while it's probably a relief for the women who are sharing their stories, there's a lot that both men and women can learn from it too. Here's what we've taken away:

1. If you struggle to orgasm, you're not alone.

In a post titled 'The Closest I’ve Cum to Cumming' an anonymous, 32-year-old woman reveals that she's never had an orgasm and invites people to ask her questions about it.

She also offers advice for others who have climax issues. She writes: "Be kind to yourself. Don’t focus so much on climaxing during sexual experiences try and focus on sensations, what feels good.

"Choose generous, loving partners who are patient and warm. Be honest with your sexual partners and let them know where you’re at. If they are good guys or girls, they will stick around and explore with you. There can be no intimacy if you’re faking it or performing."

2. Don't be afraid to say what you want.

In a post labelling all of the times she wasn't able to come because her partner was either "visibly bored" or was doing something generally quite off-putting, an anonymous woman reveals that the time when it finally happened was when her partner was "patient and kind".

"You made me comfortable," she writes. "Relaxed. Willing to be vulnerable. I fell in love with you. And then, all that made me confident. I told you exactly what to do."

Another, meanwhile, writes about how she'd made "sex for the man" and not for herself.

"I would be too ashamed to say, 'Hey, this isn’t working for me' because I would want them to think I was easy going and had had tons of experience," she says.

"I’d be so concerned with their finishing that I’d ignore my own. I would be too frightened to admit I wasn’t sure I knew what I wanted."

3. Hard, pointy tongues are not on.

"When you are going down on me, begin by just making out with my pussy. Just lay sweet kisses all over it, then focus on my clit. Be gentle. I repeat, be gentle," writes one woman.

"Circles with your tongue are great. I hate flicking. I see it in porn all the time and I don’t get it. Let your tongue be wide and slightly firm, I HATE that thing when a tongue gets all hard and pointy at the tip."

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4. Patience is key. Orgasms can be achieved in anything between two minutes to an hour (or maybe even longer).

"It takes a while. Sometimes I’ll masturbate for 45 minutes before I get anywhere," writes one woman. While another says she can orgasm on her own in two minutes.

5. Oral sex is mighty important

"I dated a man for 6 months. He went down on me a total of 2 times and I didn’t orgasm once," writes one woman.

“Oral sex is the Mecca, it's the feeling to end all feelings," says another.

6. The only way to change things, as a society, is to talk about it.

"We shroud this type of communication in shame and vulnerability. First, we’re told from a young age that this is naughty stuff that we’re not supposed to talk about. In fact, we may even get in trouble for talking about it," writes one woman.

"And secondly, somehow the idea of a man being told what to do to please a woman sexually has come to be seen as insulting.

"LET’S TALK ABOUT IT. That’s the only way to change anything," she adds.

If there's one thing we've learnt from this collection of 70-something essays on the female orgasm, it's that we still have a long way to go when it comes to female pleasure.

But hey, at least we're talking about it.

Read more essays on the female orgasm here.

Top 10 Female Orgasm Myths