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Alice Grist

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Is a Painful Childbirth all in Your Head?

Posted: 14/04/2012 19:48

This is a question that is massively poignant to me, and isn't one that I ask lightly. Seasoned medical professionals and women who have experienced painful births are no doubt baring their teeth. Whilst I don't wish to trample on their experience, I am due to give birth in six weeks and I'm hoping that the title to this piece may be truer than we are currently able to anticipate.

Since becoming pregnant I have explored my options. In doing so I discovered 'Hypnobirthing - The Marie Mongan Method' and my education in natural, empowering birthing began. Whilst I've not yet put the theory to the test, I am already a superfan of the possibilities hypnobirthing holds.

Hypnobirthing starts from the premise that the pain commonly felt in childbirth is not a natural side effect of birth but rather it stems from fear. Women in our highly medicalised society are ingrained to believe that birth is frightening and as they go into labour the feeling is often one of terror. This terror may have been welling in them since childhood when stories of their own birth were recounted, or from the horror tales put to them throughout their life. A pregnant woman is often not reassured by her friends gleeful recitations of tearing, cutting, blood loss, vomiting, labors that last a week and the howling screams coming from a woman in the next room.

This understandable, but culturally driven fear naturally provokes the body's fight, flight or freeze response. All physical energy is directed away from the birthing process and a lifetime of anticipating great pain becomes true, surgery occurs, episitiotomies are dosed out, drugs are taken and birth becomes a medical traumatic situation.

Fear ensures that the birthing woman is tense and her bodies own natural painkillers, endorphins are therefore blocked. The anxiety in her body causes her to resist what her body wants to do. The hubbub that surrounds this in the hospital; machines, midwifes, invasive examinations simply causes her to slip further into a state of panic. It is no surprise that so many of our gals are left begging for the numbing sensation of whatever drug happens to be closest.

Birth is taken from mum and placed in the hands of professionals and all she is left with is another horror story to pass on. Of course some women may have a medical need for medical intervention, but midwife led centers such as The Farm in Tennessee run by Ina May Gaskin, have proven that surgical interference could occur in as little as 1% of births.

Indeed many other cultures experience childbirth as an empowering, straightforward, intense rite of passage for women. They don't understand what all of our fuss is about. Yet physiologically we are identical. It's seems to me that our sophisticated society has moved childbirth beyond itself. In medicalising birth and creating fear, we have disempowered women to the incredible power of their own bodies.

Hypnobirthing aims to place the power for birthing back in the hands of the parents. The formula is such a simple one. It involves removing the fear, relaxing, going inward and guess what... trusting our bodies. Yes actually trusting that women have birthed for thousands of years, many in a time or land without chemical or surgical interference, and they have done so quite nicely.

As a hypnobirthing devotee I'm currently learning to trust my body and my baby to do what comes ever so natural. I believe I've conquered my fears of childbirth, and I am looking forward to the whole process. I know - how peculiar! As is my husband who having attended the hypnobirth classes with me could not argue with the fabulous logic of it all.

I'm not suggesting it won't be a challenge, or that it will totally pain free, but visualising that the intensity of natural birth will be a wondrous occurrence. I am placing trust in my uterine muscles to do what they are meant to do effectively. I will handle challenging moments with a dose of deep relaxation, total faith, and if it comes to it, some nipple stroking from my nearest and dearest. Yes nipple stroking and other gentle touch techniques are said to flood the body with oxytocin, enabling an easier birth. Many may balk, but I'd rather get a little bit fruity in the delivery room than lose my marbles or physical control to chemical interference.

In a few weeks time I hope to report that my baby was brought into this world the old fashioned way. It's my mission to relax and go deeply inside the physical me, prompted by my spiritual inclination for gentleness, peace and all things natural. This is the first soulful gift I can give my little girl. A birth that is not only anticipated with excitement and big huge love, but delivered with it too.

 
 
 

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04:31 PM on 04/27/2012
Great post Alice. I always took the view that women had been dropping babies for aeons with little fuss, and that far too much is made of how it's such an agonising process which you're not even meant to enjoy - just expect that It. Will. Hurt.... A. Lot.
My mum went through all her labour whilst packing 4 kids under the age of 7 off to school and a husband off to work, before calmly calling the ambulance to take her in to give birth to twins - during the rush hour. She even hung on in the ambulance as she insisted on giving birth in a proper bed. Tough Irish stock, my mum! Get on with it, no fuss.
Anyway, with that as my inspiration, I made the decision that I wanted to have as fuss free and natural birth as I could for my son and discovered hypnobirthing. Hertfordshire, my home, had a few practitioners and I found one who was amazing and took me through the techniques I needed.
Result? I had a wonderful experience. I was calm and relaxed, as I had wanted, and even my oh-so-cynical husband was impressed, which is a feat in itself.
So yes, it can be done, and is definitely worth the effort. Good luck!

I found my teacher through these guys at the Hypnotherapy Association in the UK - http://www.thehypnobirthingassociation.com/component/option,com_sobipro/Itemid,76/sid,79/
04:50 PM on 04/21/2012
I had two home-births and then a hospital. I had all natural births with no pain killers and it was well worth it. I researched 'pain-free' births and ultimately I think it comes down to genetics and how your body processes pain. If you think of your birthing process as being the hardest day of work in your life (or 3 days!) your outlook will be different. Fear plays into it a lot but if you can control your mind- you can do it! It hurt for me, but it was well worth the pain.
01:20 PM on 04/17/2012
I too had high hopes of hypno-birthing before the birth of my daughter (first child). However, Nature decides who gets an easy time and who doesn't, and no amount of pain management will change that. Apparently successive children are generally easier, but the first- you'll never know until you have it. Don't put pressure on yourself to "succeed" at this, I still feel a bit of a failure after my experience and this I attribute to my convictions that hypno-birthing would save me from painful childbirth. But it isn't so important, learning to breastfeed and being a mum are far more important than how well you breathe in labour. However, don't make the mistake of assuming pain is in the mother's mind, you might feel very silly afterwards.
04:24 PM on 04/17/2012
Good point! My births did get easier as I went along. Experience teaches you SOOOO much. :)
09:15 PM on 04/16/2012
* Remember - You're a women, you are designed to give birth. Enjoy the experience and best of British Luck).
PS - (sorry for hogging the comments but hypnobirthing is so fantastic I couldn't help myself)
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Alice Grist
10:57 PM on 04/16/2012
Thank you so much for all your top tips. I love that you are so passionate about it... I think I'm headed that way myself. I have read your tips carefully and will read again later as they are helpful. Hypnobirthers are so supportive - it's fantastic! THanks again! Alice
09:13 PM on 04/16/2012
I credit Hypnobirthing with giving me the most amazing birth experience ever. I was "high" and euphoric for about a month afterwards. I had to tone down by exhilarating birth experience because all my NCT friends had shocking birth stories and I didn't want to gloat. If you have a wonderful positive birth story, beware because people won't believe you or say stuff like "oh you were just lucky", so just content yourself with the knowledge that you did have a great time and you would do it all again tomorrow.
* I believed in hypnobirthing 100% going into this process and my trust in the system carried me though
* It was harder than I expected but surpassed my expectations at the same time
* What shocked me the most was that giving birth took so much concentration, I couldn't speak and kept my eyes shut most of the time just so I could focus on breathing.
* Concentrate on having a positive birth experience not just focusing on a natural birth, that's what hypnobirthing taught me. Having medical procedures is not a failure if you approach it in a positive way.
* Practising Hypnobirthing is a bit like entering the Olympics. Not everyone is going to get the medal but every bit of training and preparation increases your chances of a place on the podium. For others just starting the race or crossing the finishing line is still the best day of their lives....
09:12 PM on 04/16/2012
* Raspberry leaf tea tastes disgusting so consider the capsules instead in the last three weeks. Don't do what I did and take 3 capsules in one go (it sent my braxton hicks crazy and my Mum though I was going to give birth in Costco). Only realised after this experience that each capsule should have been taken separately, morning, noon and night.
* Lie about your due date. Everyone will ring, email, text, facebook you if they know your real EDD. It is only an estimated due date so give them vague answers like "oh some time in June" or add two weeks to you actual EDD.
* J-Breathing works - I did not push at all and baby popped out in two breaths
*Do practice "perineum stretches", I could only manage achieving this contortion in the bath. I don't know if it has any effect on the perineum but when the baby was crowning I was very familiar with this sensation so I didn't panic therefore I didn't "feel the burn".
* I wasn't planning to give birth without Gas and Air, but it just turned out that the labour was so quick we didn't get round to setting it up. Just letting you know that it is possible to labour without Gas and Air and it makes you concentrate on the breathing even more anyway.
* Consider delaying getting into the birthing pool for as long as possible. Jump in only when you really need it to
09:11 PM on 04/16/2012
....
* The surges are very very very very very very intense and can take your breath away, so focussing on breathing really helped. I found it quite tricky to do the long breaths in and out (never made it to 20 seconds) so I found "Yoga Breathing" very helpful.
* Not every women experiences the same pain. If your pain is in the back (which can hurt more) then your baby may not be in the optimum position. I did lots of work on getting baby into a good position in the last month, lots of yoga, sleeping only on my left side, not slouching in armchairs but sitting on the birth ball to watch TV.
* Practise, practise, practise - go through all the exercises you're learning every night with your hubby until it becomes like clockwork
* I found labouring on the loo an excellent position and so do NICE (but very nerve wracking for hubby who has visions on baby having an early christening. Consider asking the midwives if they can provide you with a "birthing stool" (or bring your own). You can probably buy them on the internet these days
* I followed my instinct regarding positions and found myself wanting to walk up and down stairs sideways one step at a time, only reading after the fact that this can be very beneficial ........
09:09 PM on 04/16/2012
My story is only anecdotal but I had a wonderful birth experience thanks to Hypnobirthing. Here's a link to my birth story which I posted online 3 years ago. http://www.patientopinion.org.uk/opinions/17621
I thought I'd share my birth reflections with you and hope that it helps a little.
* Your husband is integral to this process. I found the surges SOOOO intense that I lost the power of speech and could only concentrate on one thing, breathing. Hubby was my voice and advocate so he was well prepared and we'd discusses the birth plan in depth (including saying no to a bottle).
* Trust your instincts, when I started bleeding I was unsure that it was "right" so I got straight on the phone to the midwife (she came round within twenty minutes to do an initial assessment which was handy because baby came twenty minutes later). It turns out the the bleeding was normal, it was a "bloody show". I had two shows, one happened the day before (mucus plug - looks like apricot jam) and the second one the morning of labour (bloody show). Didn't know you could have two shows before this happened to me. I felt reassured that I'd called the midwife at the right time because if I hadn't of I would have been flying solo.....
08:18 PM on 04/16/2012
Good luck with it all - I will be interested to hear your thoughts once you have experienced birth! I have had three children and whilst it is painful, I have never panicked and I think this has contributed to them being straightforward and mainly drug-free. I used visualisation a lot and also concentrated on the thought that I COULD do it. For my last birth I had a water birth which was lovely and I managed right to the point of the head coming out with no drugs at all - I had one blast on the gas and air for that last moment and that helped me not to tear. SO I wish you all the best, it really is an overwhelming experience.
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Alice Grist
09:02 PM on 04/16/2012
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Your techniques sound great and the positive mental attitude is the way forward!
06:19 PM on 04/16/2012
While Hypnobirthing can be a great tool for a lot of women, it doesn't work for every one when labor happens, and unfortunately women can get stuck on trying to get their hypnobirthing to work instead of trying to find something else that does. I highly recommend that you also explore other types of relaxation techniques before and especially during labor if you're finding it hard working with hypnobirthing techiques--guided imagery, rhythm and ritual through breathing/groaning/counting/singing/etc., massage, accupressure, bath/shower, heat/cold, position changes, aromatherapy, etc. Best of luck on your labor! :o)
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Alice Grist
07:04 PM on 04/16/2012
Thanks and I absolutely agree. I like the hypno birthing techniques, but have my own twist on them and other ideas tucked up my sleeves too. I'd recommend all women do that also and find their own unique take on it. Even if they don't find that unique take until they are many cm's dialated - it is important that they trust their needs and embrace their process!
05:51 PM on 04/16/2012
I liked your article. It's a question I've longed asked myself, as a doula and as a mother who managed to somehow figure out how to have a painless labour through most of my third child's birth (until I got to transition). I totally feel that fear, anxiety and stress send women into the fear-pain cycle, which makes their labours unbearably painful, however, my question is, Is it always possible to completely eliminate pain by deep relaxation and clearing of fears? I know it is sometimes possible, but is it always possible? Is there some amount of pain that is a necessary part of labour? I don't know. I'd like to know what the statistics are for people who have attended hypnobirthing classes. Do some or most women have pain free labours? Do they have pain, but feel like they can cope very well? Does the method not work at all for some women? What percentage does it work for?

Thanks for your article!
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Alice Grist
06:09 PM on 04/16/2012
Your questions are really valid, and I don't know the answers. I'm pretty sure the hypnobirthing people do collect the kind of statistics you are wondering about. From the evidence I've seen birthing is not necessarily pain free, but is certainly manageable and more importantly it is empowering and in many ways enjoyable due to that empowerment. I believe alot of hypnobirthing women refer to their births not in the language of pain, but use other language such as 'pressure' and 'intense'. Indeed women in other cultures who are free from our cultural understandings of birth do not speak of birth in terms of pain at all. I have yet to put this all to the test personally, but I'm convinced there is certainly something to it. Thanks for your interesting comment.
06:45 PM on 04/16/2012
I was working in a couple of different countries, where the women didn't refer to contractions as contractions. the word they used was "pains". But they didn't have any anxiety about it. It was just a statement of fact. Most of them didn't seem to have many issues with fearing labour, or having a difficult time in labour. It wasn't that they were trying to have a pain-free labour, it's just that they didn't believe they would have any problem dealing with pain.
03:53 PM on 04/16/2012
It is all in your head ! at least that is where all the messeges from your nerves end up , you can prepare your self by relaxing and not concetraiting on the source of the pain ,the more you tense up the more it hurts , but in child birth you would be tensed up with the contractions any way, so in conclusion ,it is going to hurt
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Alice Grist
04:07 PM on 04/16/2012
Hence the focus of hypnobirthing to learn to deeply relax throughout the contractions. So yeah if you tense up, pain occurs. But if you can enact mind over matter then things can be very different. Many women achieving peaceful, relatively painfree births as a result. It's exciting.
08:56 AM on 04/17/2012
I was going to Mention mind over matter ( it worked when I resigned myself to the knowledge that my arm was going to snap when I was half way through a Jujitsu throw ) but it does all depend on your mind set ,it may not work for everyone
03:45 PM on 04/16/2012
Good Afternoon,

I have given birth 4 times and i regret to say that it is the most painful thing ever to happen to me (yet)
If i had been given a loaded gun whilst giving birth i may have been tempted to shoot myself.
The pain did not stop me going on to have more than the one child - but i still wonder how that happened!!
I had babies in hospital and @ home and i like to think of myself as open minded about such matters as pain relief etc and also trying to keep ones happy thoughts whilst giving birth.
-Just saying.
suzanne marlborough
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Alice Grist
04:12 PM on 04/16/2012
Hi Suzanne, I don't doubt that birth can be excruciating as per your experience. Your experience is what hypnobirthing and similar techniques are trying to overcome. Undertaking hypnobirthing is a complex, drawn out procedure, and you have to do the homework in the run up to birth! But I would hope it would help avoid the experiences you describe - I'll keep you posted in a few weeks! . thanks for your comment.
04:33 PM on 04/16/2012
thanks for replying :) - i wish you loads of luck with the technique i am sure that if one is determined enough it will go some way to lessening the pain.
I have to say that my home birth was the easiest - i think that the position (for giving birth) is one of the most important things - letting gravity help the birth along.
However much i have whittered on about birth being painful i only ever had gas and air -but did once beg for an epidural but it was too late for that -for which i am glad....... NOW
03:37 PM on 04/16/2012
I found the experience emotional but totally pain free, my wife, however, had a different experience.
03:02 PM on 04/16/2012
Thank you so much for your post! I too am anticipating the birth of my first in 7 weeks time and planning to use hypnobirthing. I've heard so many positive stories about hypnobirth. I am not a super crunchy type and haven't told many people about my plan because of our culture around birth. After reading your post I realized, it's important for women who explore all options, do their homework and have these experiences to speak up! Up until I became pregnant, I always thought I would give birth the way I had always seen it done: with meds, IV, on my back, listening to an OB, and screaming. From now on I will urge women to explore the different options and even encourage them to watch videos of different types of births.
Best wishes to you and your family! :)
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Alice Grist
03:37 PM on 04/16/2012
Thanks Liz and good luck with your birth too! My vision of birth was much the same as yours. Indeed it probably put me off having children to some extent. I'm so glad to have found an alternative, and that other women are freeing themselves of the culturally driven perception and opening up to something much more beautiful!