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This is a question that is massively poignant to me, and isn't one that I ask lightly. Seasoned medical professionals and women who have experienced painful births are no doubt baring their teeth. Whilst I don't wish to trample on their experience, I am due to give birth in six weeks and I'm hoping that the title to this piece may be truer than we are currently able to anticipate.
Since becoming pregnant I have explored my options. In doing so I discovered 'Hypnobirthing - The Marie Mongan Method' and my education in natural, empowering birthing began. Whilst I've not yet put the theory to the test, I am already a superfan of the possibilities hypnobirthing holds.
Hypnobirthing starts from the premise that the pain commonly felt in childbirth is not a natural side effect of birth but rather it stems from fear. Women in our highly medicalised society are ingrained to believe that birth is frightening and as they go into labour the feeling is often one of terror. This terror may have been welling in them since childhood when stories of their own birth were recounted, or from the horror tales put to them throughout their life. A pregnant woman is often not reassured by her friends gleeful recitations of tearing, cutting, blood loss, vomiting, labors that last a week and the howling screams coming from a woman in the next room.
This understandable, but culturally driven fear naturally provokes the body's fight, flight or freeze response. All physical energy is directed away from the birthing process and a lifetime of anticipating great pain becomes true, surgery occurs, episitiotomies are dosed out, drugs are taken and birth becomes a medical traumatic situation.
Fear ensures that the birthing woman is tense and her bodies own natural painkillers, endorphins are therefore blocked. The anxiety in her body causes her to resist what her body wants to do. The hubbub that surrounds this in the hospital; machines, midwifes, invasive examinations simply causes her to slip further into a state of panic. It is no surprise that so many of our gals are left begging for the numbing sensation of whatever drug happens to be closest.
Birth is taken from mum and placed in the hands of professionals and all she is left with is another horror story to pass on. Of course some women may have a medical need for medical intervention, but midwife led centers such as The Farm in Tennessee run by Ina May Gaskin, have proven that surgical interference could occur in as little as 1% of births.
Indeed many other cultures experience childbirth as an empowering, straightforward, intense rite of passage for women. They don't understand what all of our fuss is about. Yet physiologically we are identical. It's seems to me that our sophisticated society has moved childbirth beyond itself. In medicalising birth and creating fear, we have disempowered women to the incredible power of their own bodies.
Hypnobirthing aims to place the power for birthing back in the hands of the parents. The formula is such a simple one. It involves removing the fear, relaxing, going inward and guess what... trusting our bodies. Yes actually trusting that women have birthed for thousands of years, many in a time or land without chemical or surgical interference, and they have done so quite nicely.
As a hypnobirthing devotee I'm currently learning to trust my body and my baby to do what comes ever so natural. I believe I've conquered my fears of childbirth, and I am looking forward to the whole process. I know - how peculiar! As is my husband who having attended the hypnobirth classes with me could not argue with the fabulous logic of it all.
I'm not suggesting it won't be a challenge, or that it will totally pain free, but visualising that the intensity of natural birth will be a wondrous occurrence. I am placing trust in my uterine muscles to do what they are meant to do effectively. I will handle challenging moments with a dose of deep relaxation, total faith, and if it comes to it, some nipple stroking from my nearest and dearest. Yes nipple stroking and other gentle touch techniques are said to flood the body with oxytocin, enabling an easier birth. Many may balk, but I'd rather get a little bit fruity in the delivery room than lose my marbles or physical control to chemical interference.
In a few weeks time I hope to report that my baby was brought into this world the old fashioned way. It's my mission to relax and go deeply inside the physical me, prompted by my spiritual inclination for gentleness, peace and all things natural. This is the first soulful gift I can give my little girl. A birth that is not only anticipated with excitement and big huge love, but delivered with it too.
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My mum went through all her labour whilst packing 4 kids under the age of 7 off to school and a husband off to work, before calmly calling the ambulance to take her in to give birth to twins - during the rush hour. She even hung on in the ambulance as she insisted on giving birth in a proper bed. Tough Irish stock, my mum! Get on with it, no fuss.
Anyway, with that as my inspiration, I made the decision that I wanted to have as fuss free and natural birth as I could for my son and discovered hypnobirthing. Hertfordshire, my home, had a few practitioners and I found one who was amazing and took me through the techniques I needed.
Result? I had a wonderful experience. I was calm and relaxed, as I had wanted, and even my oh-so-cynical husband was impressed, which is a feat in itself.
So yes, it can be done, and is definitely worth the effort. Good luck!
I found my teacher through these guys at the Hypnotherapy Association in the UK - http://www.thehypnobirthingassociation.com/component/option,com_sobipro/Itemid,76/sid,79/
PS - (sorry for hogging the comments but hypnobirthing is so fantastic I couldn't help myself)
* I believed in hypnobirthing 100% going into this process and my trust in the system carried me though
* It was harder than I expected but surpassed my expectations at the same time
* What shocked me the most was that giving birth took so much concentration, I couldn't speak and kept my eyes shut most of the time just so I could focus on breathing.
* Concentrate on having a positive birth experience not just focusing on a natural birth, that's what hypnobirthing taught me. Having medical procedures is not a failure if you approach it in a positive way.
* Practising Hypnobirthing is a bit like entering the Olympics. Not everyone is going to get the medal but every bit of training and preparation increases your chances of a place on the podium. For others just starting the race or crossing the finishing line is still the best day of their lives....
* Lie about your due date. Everyone will ring, email, text, facebook you if they know your real EDD. It is only an estimated due date so give them vague answers like "oh some time in June" or add two weeks to you actual EDD.
* J-Breathing works - I did not push at all and baby popped out in two breaths
*Do practice "perineum stretches", I could only manage achieving this contortion in the bath. I don't know if it has any effect on the perineum but when the baby was crowning I was very familiar with this sensation so I didn't panic therefore I didn't "feel the burn".
* I wasn't planning to give birth without Gas and Air, but it just turned out that the labour was so quick we didn't get round to setting it up. Just letting you know that it is possible to labour without Gas and Air and it makes you concentrate on the breathing even more anyway.
* Consider delaying getting into the birthing pool for as long as possible. Jump in only when you really need it to
* The surges are very very very very very very intense and can take your breath away, so focussing on breathing really helped. I found it quite tricky to do the long breaths in and out (never made it to 20 seconds) so I found "Yoga Breathing" very helpful.
* Not every women experiences the same pain. If your pain is in the back (which can hurt more) then your baby may not be in the optimum position. I did lots of work on getting baby into a good position in the last month, lots of yoga, sleeping only on my left side, not slouching in armchairs but sitting on the birth ball to watch TV.
* Practise, practise, practise - go through all the exercises you're learning every night with your hubby until it becomes like clockwork
* I found labouring on the loo an excellent position and so do NICE (but very nerve wracking for hubby who has visions on baby having an early christening. Consider asking the midwives if they can provide you with a "birthing stool" (or bring your own). You can probably buy them on the internet these days
* I followed my instinct regarding positions and found myself wanting to walk up and down stairs sideways one step at a time, only reading after the fact that this can be very beneficial ........
I thought I'd share my birth reflections with you and hope that it helps a little.
* Your husband is integral to this process. I found the surges SOOOO intense that I lost the power of speech and could only concentrate on one thing, breathing. Hubby was my voice and advocate so he was well prepared and we'd discusses the birth plan in depth (including saying no to a bottle).
* Trust your instincts, when I started bleeding I was unsure that it was "right" so I got straight on the phone to the midwife (she came round within twenty minutes to do an initial assessment which was handy because baby came twenty minutes later). It turns out the the bleeding was normal, it was a "bloody show". I had two shows, one happened the day before (mucus plug - looks like apricot jam) and the second one the morning of labour (bloody show). Didn't know you could have two shows before this happened to me. I felt reassured that I'd called the midwife at the right time because if I hadn't of I would have been flying solo.....
Thanks for your article!
I have given birth 4 times and i regret to say that it is the most painful thing ever to happen to me (yet)
If i had been given a loaded gun whilst giving birth i may have been tempted to shoot myself.
The pain did not stop me going on to have more than the one child - but i still wonder how that happened!!
I had babies in hospital and @ home and i like to think of myself as open minded about such matters as pain relief etc and also trying to keep ones happy thoughts whilst giving birth.
-Just saying.
suzanne marlborough
I have to say that my home birth was the easiest - i think that the position (for giving birth) is one of the most important things - letting gravity help the birth along.
However much i have whittered on about birth being painful i only ever had gas and air -but did once beg for an epidural but it was too late for that -for which i am glad....... NOW
Best wishes to you and your family! :)