Cooking With Anna J

30/08/2016 12:53

We've all got one of those friends on Facebook. The one who casually whips up food porn for their meals and then posts photos. I've got one and he's called Mr. P. Him and his lovely wife Mrs. P ( who always reminds me of a beautiful exotic Asian Helena Bonham Carter) have been responsible for my screen-licking activities on many occasions. Today I was blessed with a visit from them. Our meet-ups are always far and few between. Work, commitments, life etc. gets in the way, but the time I do get with them is always a joy for which I am grateful. No matter how our conversations begin, they follow a road that always leads back to food - and what a great place to end up! The by-product of this, is me, without fail, being left , after they've departed, with cravings that only a telephone call to the local Indian restaurant can cure, especially as my cookery skills don't stretch out much further than oven chips and fish fingers.

As I was feeling in such a good mood this evening, the sun was shining in through the French windows, the birds were singing and life felt generally good, I thought I'd be brave and try something new off the menu. It's so important that we step out of our comfort zones whenever we can. I'm generally not a huge fan of Indian food. If I'm honest it scares me a bit because I don't know what things are, or what is in them, but after a couple of hours talking about it, it was a bullet that had to be bitten.

I closed my eyes, pointed my finger and trusted in the Goddess of Lovely Food.

Jhinga Satay!

I made the call. Placed the order. And twenty minutes later - Bish Bash Bosh. ( Don't you just love living in the 21st century? )

It was with much excitement that I plated up and took my first couple of mouthfuls. Spicy but delicious. So delicious in fact that I set to on Our Lord God Google to see if I could find the recipe. It took me a few minutes to track it down on a cookery site, mainly because I was also still filling my face ... which was starting to feel a tad warmer ...


By the time I got to copying the ingredients down, although still with no regrets, I had officially concluded that this probably wasn't a 'novice curry'; but being the brave and courageous soul that I am, I ploughed on.

So if anyone wants to try this recipe at home, here are the ingredients.

I have made some slight adjustments using what little culinary knowledge I have, to ensure that the version I am sharing is as authentic as possible and also accounts for the build up of heat I experienced by the end of eating.


1 lb - tiger prawns. Peeled if desired.

2 cups - Fresh volcanic lava. ( If you can't get fresh, dried is acceptable however it should be widely available when in season.)

3 cups - Breath of a dragon ( flaming) If you can't find this in your local store, we recommend checking out your local farmer market.

1/4 lb of the sun. It essential that you use a lump of the core. We've tried outer layers and it simply doesn't burn through your oesophagus

Mixed chopped salad for dressing.

And apparently some sort of Asian plum sauce


Fry off the tiger prawns and arrange on plate. Don't worry about presentation too much. In five minutes your sauce will have melted the crockery anyway.

Mix all the 'spices' together ( we recommend wearing protective equipment whilst doing so. Safety, Safety, Safety! That's the motto in the Anna J kitchen.)

You can either pour the mix directly from the bowl, over your seafood, or simply hold the bowl above the prawns and wait for it to corrode through and drop down anyway.

Arrange salad as desired.

Put the Asian plum sauce back in the cupboard and save for another time because I have no clue when it's supposed to be used.

And there we have it. My new favourite Indian dish. Next week I shall be blogging about my visit to the plastic surgeon to have my princess-mouth rebuilt.It seems I have taste buds that are grown from fairy wings and dew drops. And the next time I decide to get all brave with things I have absolutely no knowledge of, I shall ensure I have an expert to hand. And probably a fireman. And a plastic surgeon.


Anna J

First published on 26 August 2016