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Arlene Phillips

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Understanding Dementia

Posted: 25/08/2012 00:00

Over my years in the spotlight, I've often spoken openly about my experience with dementia - my fathered suffered with the disease during the later years of his life and for many years I worked to look after him before he entered a care home, when in need of more specialist treatment. I know first-hand how heart breaking and frightening it can be to go through the process of seeing an older relative is diagnosed with the condition. As well as not knowing what a diagnosis means, many don't know what to expect - recent research released by Bupa Care Services showed that four in ten wouldn't know how best to support someone with dementia and the same amount would not know what to expect as the disease progressed.

My experiences have meant that as I get older, I feel more and more that taboo subjects such as mortality, dementia and ageing should stop being swept under the carpet. When an older loved one is diagnosed with dementia, we need to teach people how not to be afraid. For example, there are ways that you can best cope when a sufferer is confused, or know what symptoms to look out for. The more an individual understands and more they know, they more they can bring to a dementia sufferer, and can also understand that the sufferer can bring something to them too.

This is one of the reasons why I have partnered with Bupa to create a series of online videos, explaining what dementia is, what to expect and how best to preserve relationships. The information that I was told, and have now looked to share, was so important in helping me to understand the many aspects of dementia, and answered the questions that wish I'd had the answers to when I was trying to cope with and understand my father's illness. For instance when he became argumentative, don't argue back find a way to change the subject to calm things down.

On wider plane, I feel it is important that we work to understand and become familiar with which aspects of ageing frighten us, in order to best build relationships in general with older members of society. I know how many young people fear the old or don't have the patience to interact with the elderly. Yet you see in so many different cultures outside the UK that age is celebrated. Every member of the family is considered to be equally important and older family members are treated with additional respect. In the UK we need to start bridging the gap and find our way to a similar attitude.

We live in a society that is in love with youth, this isn't a bad thing as the young are our future. But we need to fall in love with old age too, and try to gain understanding of some of the conditions which may occur in old age, rather than bury our heads in the sand an avoid spending time with the elderly all together, because we a frightened of what we don't understand. Dementia is far from being an inevitable consequence of old age, but by understanding a condition, which is perhaps, one of those we're most scared of, we can look to celebrate old age more, and be scared of it less.

Understanding is a great gift and one we all need to have.

To view Arlene's videos and for more support and advice, visit: www.bupa.co.ukunderstanddementia

 

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Over my years in the spotlight, I've often spoken openly about my experience with dementia - my fathered suffered with the disease during the later years of his life and for many years I worked to loo...
Over my years in the spotlight, I've often spoken openly about my experience with dementia - my fathered suffered with the disease during the later years of his life and for many years I worked to loo...
 
 
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12:09 on 25/08/2012
Thanks to my older sister who is my mother's next of kin I am no longer welcome in my family because she tried to hide and ignore my mother's dementia and I pushed for medical care. Now I'm blamed for my mother's condition because of my sister's fear and ignorance. The rest of my family just don't want to deal with it and fear my sister's sharp tongue. Care for any mental illness in the UK for young or old is so very lacking. They slag off the Americans for giving out pills for everything but thats better then telling you to snap out of it or providing no care to just push you through the system.
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20:02 on 24/08/2012
"When an older loved one is diagnosed with dementia, we need to teach people how not to be afraid" - totally agree & there should be more help for the family in learning how to deal with it & professional support and assistance for the family so that they DONT end up in a care home such as your father - I know that while myself and my family were looking after my gran with alzheimers - for many years right up until she passed at the age of 92 without ever even considering having her put in any sort of care home - at the time we also didnt get any at-home assistance or medical support at all as alzheimers wasnt considered terminal or a medical affirmity at the time and the only thing available was appointments with a memory clinic who did little at the time other than confirm the diagnosis - thankfully that has all changed since, in the past 10 years or so, - hopefully more changes will happen to help families keep their loved ones cared for by the best people in the position to do it - the family.
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treborc
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16:16 on 25/08/2012
It all depends how quick it sneaks up on you, some people can live happy lives for a few years, others lose all memory and go back into child hood, others even forget how to use the toilets, sadly when that happens care homes may be the only place for them, as you cannot watch them all the time.

If your well off and have the money to pay for a nurse a carer then yes you may have hope of looking after people at home, sadly the people I have seen go down hill so fast.
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17:13 on 25/08/2012
Most alzheimer victims in the later stages cannot remember how to use the toilet or realise they need it, go up the stairs and halfway forget how to go up or down and panic - these are the things I lived with for 15 years and helped my gran with willingly - we had no help, we werent rich, we chose one of the family (me) to stay at home - we werent offered any at home care to simply help bath her or just to give us maybe a couple of hours break every few days - nothing - when she then developed a tumour we had help coming out of our ears - but luckily that has now changed a little and alzheimers victims families can get some help and assistance which 10 years ago we could not.  It is a heartbreaking and EXTREMELY difficult thing to live with and to give good care for physically but even more so emotionally when your gran thinks her son is her husband and has to be told her husband is no longer with us every single day for years - none of this anyone prepares you for and help is needed for the families to have strength mentally and physically to deal with it & they need the odd bit of help to give them an hour off at night or help bathing.  These things desperately need addressing & helping with. But I personally do not agree with putting any