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Use Intuition to Avoid the Wrong Guy and Pick the Right One

05/05/2015 13:00 BST | Updated 30/06/2015 10:59 BST

Whilst researching my book Intuitive Lovers, I asked my clients 'when did you know you were with the wrong guy?' Surprisingly they answered 'When I first met him'. It is my belief that right on a very first date you will be shown one action which will add up to the end of the relationship in time.

Why do we ignore it? Because often even though we know a relationship hasn't a real future, it's worth the ride. Sometimes we think it's a glitch: 'they are nervous', or we even think we might be able to change them. Very often it's because we don't know ourselves very well. When we don't know what we really place value, on we don't spot something that is in conflict to our values until we have lost the thing we value - and it becomes a deal breaker. Freedom is a value for me, being my authentic self and honesty. Knowing these values means I look out for how I shrink in another person's company, how controlled I am allowing myself to be, and of course if I am being lied to. 

The more you know yourself the more you can see if this relationship is a fit. 

Knowing yourself also means that you can have more intuition working in your relationships. 

Really strong slap in the face with a wet fish kind of intuition needs to have three elements to be powerful:

Purpose, love and curiosity. 

If you know your values you can set your intuition to find a mate who also has the same values. Values give off a strong vibe, it is an integral part of a person's soul and often they hardly change through out a lifetime. This makes it easy to intuitively sense that about a person. 

Love - because it opens your heart lead intuition and stops you looking for a mate with your gut. Gut lead intuition will only warn you of who isn't right for you, not who is. So if you follow your gut you'll just think the world is full of incompatible people and all the good men are married or dead! 

Curiosity is the sexy part. Curiosity is a strong component of flirting. So when you're curious you are open. Many people want a relationship but not like any relationship they've had before - mainly because those relationships ended.

So without them even knowing, they have closed themselves off to love. By being curious we send out a message that says: yes I have been hurt, but I believe that love is real and nothing is going to stop me playing with its potential. 

Apart from the values there are four other pillars that hold up a successful relationship.

If you share the same dreams for the future, spiritual values, sense of humour (someone who doesn't laugh at your jokes is like torture of a thousand paper cuts!) and intellect. I would add to that creative intellect, as there is nothing better than creating with your mate.

From dinner to decorating the home or building a business - and making babies!

It seems harder than ever to meet the right person, but that's because society at large has shut down. Crime rates have gone down and the fear of crime has gone up. 

When you become intuitive you never have to trust another person, because you know how to trust yourself.