THE BLOG

Commitment Phobe... Love Him? Or Leave Him?

29/10/2014 15:55 GMT | Updated 29/12/2014 10:59 GMT

We've all sat listening to friends about their relationships and a common topic that comes up is that '...he said he's 'not looking for commitment' but, you know, we like spending time together and we don't date anybody else so maybe he'll change his mind....'

Let me fill you in on a little secret.... If he says he's not looking for commitment... Believe him! As much as we'd like to believe otherwise, unlike women, men often say exactly what they think.

We all love a good challenge and there's no bigger, shinier, gold plated trophy up for grabs than for a woman who turns a commitment phobe into a doting boyfriend. You know the kind - the ones who are happy to take you to afternoon tea and eat teeny tiny fancy cakes with their gigantic hands and not feel emasculated. The ones who will pass up on a game of footie to make you chicken soup when you have a sniffle. The one who says "spend my 2 weeks annual leave on holiday with your parents? Yes please" and means it.

That's the dream. Here's the reality - it won't happen.

Don't waste your time

Here's the thing about men. They're not as complex as we like to make out. All this 'reading men's minds' business is quite frankly a load of poop. Why? Men tell it how it is. They give it to us straight. Sugar coating isn't usually their bag so if they don't want to see us again they normally say it. If they go awol they're just a pussycat, and who wants a pussycat boyfriend? No, real men don't pull any punches.

I've been on the receiving end and I'm first to admit it isn't always pretty. Receiving a message to say 'it was nice to meet you but don't think we should do it again' is hardly the stuff of Romeo and Juliet. But it did save me a few days of wondering if he was going to call.

With that in mind, if a man tells you he's looking for a bit of fun, a casual encounter, nothing serious then believe him. He's not fibbing. He's not playing a game to make you pine after him. To sum it up, fall for him at your peril. If you catch yourself thinking that he might change, that he has to settle down one day so why not with you, that if anyone can turn his head then you're the woman to do it, then you my friend are delusional (and I mean that in the nicest possible way!).

The simple fact of the matter is that if a guy wants to be with you, he will be. If he wants to be committed to you he'll move the earth to make it happen. And you deserve that. Why settle for anything less?

Contrary to belief there ARE plenty of amazing men out there who are smart, funny, handsome and commitment ready. Don't waste your time on the ones who don't appreciate your love, save your heart and time for someone who truly wants it.

Prince charming is out there ladies. You might have to kiss a lot of frogs to find him but then again, even Disney Princesses have to kiss the odd frog to get their happily ever after.

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