THE BLOG

Hormonal Weather

06/05/2013 17:11 BST | Updated 05/07/2013 10:12 BST

Correct me if I am wrong, but I as well as you can certainly give British weather a bipolar diagnosis. From sizzling heat waves to bucketing waterfalls, British weather is certainly something that is highly unpredictable.

You check the forecast for the week; it says scattered showers with some clouds with a few sunny spells. You think to yourself, yes, this is a healthy forecast for the week, not too scary and there are no thunderstorms or terrifying tornadoes. At this point in our lives we feel grateful to live in England and not other countries such as America, which has witnessed many devastating tornadoes in the past.

Once dressed, you leave the house for work wearing what you would think is the appropriate clothing to keep you prepared for the daily weather. Your wearing black jeans with boots and a V neck top. Walking to the tube, your warm, your content. Peering up to the sky you notice only a few clouds. After about literally sixty seconds, the ragging hormones erupt. Yes, you are now being heavily spat on as the heavens open above. You're suddenly running. You hate running, but when it is raining you could bloody run a marathon! Your sprinting now, look at you go! You can't believe the speed that you're doing... BIG 'WATCH OUT' Usain Bolt! It is not just you though; your surrounding fellow street buddies are also sprinting for their lives. You're thinking to yourself, is actually a joke? There were no bloody torrential rainstorms forecasted, and of course you haven't brought your umbrella with you! The look is also great. Your clothes are now soaked and your hair is that sticky wet gel like, 'I've just come out of the shower appearance'. Sporting this new 'wet look', you now have those segments of hair that look almost glued into tube like sections. Hmmm... Attractive.

Relived, you see a Boots. SCORE! Dashing in, you buy the cheapest umbrella. BIG MISTAKE. Once outside, the umbrella takes on a life of it's own. You are definitely not in control. As a ragging hormonal gust of wind attacks you, the umbrella is now inside out and you are fighting not only the rain and wind, but also this bloody piece of fabric and metal whilst cursing out loud. Why the hell did you even buy this stupid non-protective item. Oh and your look has got even better now. Your 'wet look' has now transformed into a 'drenched mummified creature'. SUPER SEXY. Your tangled wet hair like curtains are dripping non-stop and you try and pull away one curtain so you can actually see!

Yes, the British weather is so temperamental continuously; it must be on a permanent menopause! However, admit it, you love a good bloody moan about the weather. We are so obsessed with discussing it. The power of the 'weather moan', has a domino effect on us humans. It encourages a great social bonding exercise where we can share all our ever so boring similar agreements. 'God Alice, isn't the weather bad today?' 'My God yes Lucy, it is rank, I did not even want to get out of bed this morning!'.

We also love to predict the forecast. 'Its sunny now, but it is expected to drizzle a bit later'. 'Oh really, god, I wish I had worn a warmer jumper, although I heard it was going to clear up'. Your looking at your friend eyebrow's raised with a hopeful vibrant grin on your face. Notice your tone of voice has now changed, as you described how you heard it was going to 'clear up', your voice became a higher pitch ad you have a half smile. To be honest who cares? Do you think we really enjoy discussing what might happen? No. We merely discuss this because one we are either bored and have nothing else to talk about, or, we use this as a 'conversation filler'. It not only 'breaks the ice', but also allows us humans to share opinions.

Why can't we just accept that the weather is never going to be trustworthy? When you step out of the door remember your thirty-pound high-end brolly from Selfridges, take a hat, scarf, coat and an anorak with you. Oh I don't forget to maybe throw in a pair of waders. Lets face it; you just never know what the hormonal beast will throw at you!