Ah, autumn, you gotta love it. The melancholic fall of amber leaves, the cozy warmth of your hot-water bottle, the frenetic preparations for the festive season... Yeah right. Face it: what autumn really means is the ceaseless running nose, the ceaseless running sky, the not-ceaseless-enough daytime and the super annoying super energetic friend that drags you in clubs on a Friday evening when all you wish for is your blanket, some chocolate and a good episode of Friends.
Don't worry. That moment of dreadful anticipation of the elaborate plea for staying in that you have to come up with every time you get that "wanna come out?" text? I know it. And I got it covered for you. Because there are 10 reasons for staying in to be cooler than going out.
1. You look cooler when you stay in. Who said you needed a pair of frozen naked legs struggling to remain coordinated with their high-heeled feet to look sexy? You are just as well off with your stretched out sweatpants, your oversized animal-headed slippers and your beautiful, natural, unmade-up face. You just have to believe in yourself. It's called swag.
2. You look prettier when you stay in. Trust me: when you sleep, these hideous bags under your eyes disappear. And your skin gets softer.
3. You will feel healthier if you stay in. And what's better than this overwhelmingly satisfying sensation of purging your body from the bad waves of beer? You might even become just as good as your other super annoying friend, the vegetarian one who regularly goes to the gym and is a yoga beast.
4. You will be richer if you stay in. Not only will you save the money spent on the aforementioned beer, the cab, the club, the drink in the club (except if you get these paid for you by generous strangers. Which will only happen if you look pretty. Which will only happen if you stay in), the cloakroom, but you will also get more sleep. Thus you will get better grades. Thus you will get a better job. Thus you will make more money. It's science.
5. You will be happier if you stay in. Indeed, staying in is a process that typically involves a movie, which again typically involves eating some chocolate. And we all know that chocolate contains phenylethylamine and that phenylethylamine makes one happy.
6. You will follow series if you stay in. And what is cooler than being part of the exclusive sect of girls that knows how to respond "Gossip Girl" in a seductively mysterious way whenever someone says "XOXO"?
7. Your body will be kept at a constant enjoyable temperature if you stay in. And he will like it better than the extreme comings and goings from the boiling, sweaty inside of a club to the icy wind of the ciggy spot.
8. You won't have to dress up if you stay in. We've all had that moment of blank staring at our wardrobe, too much data popping in your head (I want to look sexy, but it's cold outside, so I need a coat, but I can't afford the cloakroom, but I need somewhere to keep my wallet, so I could take a bag, but I'm still too cheap for the cloakroom, so I should take a coat, but then I won't look sexy anymore) while desperately attempting to sort out the perfect outfit that will fit the equation. Staying in involves only one crucial choice, which in addition is quite easy to resolve: have both Cadbury and Galaxy.
9. You will spend the night with the most exquisite men if you stay in. Whether it's Noah Calhoun from The Notebook or Simba from The Lion King, staying-in guys typically rule the world. Who would go for an average drunk club pervert when you can have a (not so) real guy?
10. Last but not least, you will wake up a rose if you stay in. That James Bond girl that wakes up already beautiful in movies as if her foundation cream never left her face? It could be you. Say goodbye to that other you that you wish you hadn't caught a glimpse of in the mirror through your half-open eyes. I have to warn you: staying in gets addictive. So don't forget to go out once in a while.
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