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Darrell Goodliffe Headshot

Is Being a Singleton 'Uncomplicated'?

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Single life, we are told in any case, is the life of riley. However, if you look at the questions on advice sites, like Dear Cupid, and were too do a survey of the martial status of the questioners I bet just as many would turn out to be single as do attached, in some form or another. This should clue us into the fact that it is possibly not as uncomplicated as it is sold to us as being.

Assuming at some stage that most people tire of being single (because they do, though of course, there are exceptions to ever rule), the complications can be numerous. In some ways it's more complicated mostly because rather than two people being involved (or possibly three, worse case scenario) there are often multiple people/fancies to consider. In other words, it is possible for there to be too much choice, and then, of course, there is sometimes opportunities you suddenly realise you missed completely, for whatever reason. Single life can be a bit like apple bobbing or pin the tail on the donkey;if you are lucky, there are a multitude of ropes to pull on but only one leads the right way. Rather than fretting if your partner is/is not playing away or is/is not telling you the whole story you have to start at the beginning and wonder whether there is the slightest spark at all and whether, even if there is, its the right kind of spark which will burn something approaching an eternal flame.

Does that person starring longingly at you over the filing cabinet? If they are staring like *that* then answer is probably yes, unless, of course, a mischievous younger sibling or mate drew a clown face on you while you were sleeping. However, are they the right one for you? That is a probably a trickier one to answer because it's hard to know based on the image people present to the world which is often not an entirely, but still a somewhat, different thing from the person they actually are in totality.

Also, you may think you know somebody intimately emotionally you probably do but intimacy acquires a entirely different meaning when your standing naked in front of somebody for the first time. Often, it is said people 'change' the further you get into a relationship but I happen to think it tends to be the case that often 'change' is a euphemism for more being revealed. Of course, there are genuine cases where it happens but it usually has an reason behind it if it does.

Of course, if you are not so lucky then there is the potentially mind scarring glumness of isolation and feeling like you have just been sentenced to a life (with no parole) of nothing but your reflection in the mirror for company. Festivals which should be a cause of joy becoming somewhat irritating and people, especially close friends, pairing off becomes a sad reminder of what could have been.

Having said all that,I can understand why those who have been in long-term relationships view single life through rose tinted spectacles. However, they need to remember that there is alot of truth in the saying about the 'grass always being greener'; so next time they think of all the fun they could be having outside a relationship they should perhaps consider their single friends and ask themselves if their lives are in fact 'simpler' or just complicated, but in different ways.