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The X Factor 2014 Audition Show One

31/08/2014 13:20 BST | Updated 31/10/2014 09:59 GMT

The World cup is a distant memory, the nights are starting to draw in and for most, (sorry Scotland) the return to school is imminent. This can only mean one thing, the return of the one, the only, The X Factor. 

It is also the return of the King of Talent Spotting, the return of the King of Reality TV and the return of the all round nice bloke. No, not me, Mr Simon Cowell. We also welcome back the brilliant Cheryl, a new judge, you might have heard of called Mel B and of course our old favourite, Louie Walsh. 

The pressure is well and truly on for Team Midas after the success of Lucy Kay on BGT.  Lets remind ourselves of the rules. During the X Factor auditions, Team Midas are allowed to pick three acts, the acts we believe will get to the Final. They can be announced at any time throughout the auditions, but they must be named before bootcamp.

The new series opened with a trailer that rivalled a blockbuster Hollywood film. If I wasn't excited about X Factor returning, I blooming well am now....that reminds me, when is the new Batman film out?

I hope we don't get too many annoying novelty acts this year....so who's up first?

Blonde Electric are sisters, Jazzy and Ruby. As soon as I set eyes on them, they reminded me of a female Jedward. Surprise surprise, Louis loved them too. Vocally it wasn't bad and their personalities will make them memorable. But will it be for the right reasons? Either way, they are the first act through.

The next segment was a load of guitars (literally) and Simon had had enough, taking pleasure in smashing one of them to pieces. Let's hope the next act doesn't have a guitar.

Up next, is guitar playing (calm down Simon) Reece Bibby. You just couldn't write this script! He is however amazing. Great voice and excellent guitar playing. However, I somehow don't think we will see his guitar again though. Charlie Jones followed, again very good, but like I said about a certain Liam Payne in 2010. I think these Reece and Charlie would look better in a band.

Here at Team Midas we love singers with outstanding talent but include hunger and passion into the mix and you have a star. Chloe O'Gorman had it all in abundance. You could see she was in the zone and I loved her audition. 

Who mentioned Essex...I love the place, half of my roster are from there, so when Lauren Platt appeared I immediately sat up. Her tone was fantastic and it was note and pitch perfect. Simon said a star had been found. I totally agree. Lauren goes on the Team Midas shortlist.

The next group of contestants ignored poor Mel B and focused on their love for wor Cheryl. One such charmer, Ben Quinlan who said and I quote "I love animals and I love Cheryl Cole". Did he mean it to come out in such a way? He sang "That's my Goal"...well it's my goal to never replay him singing it. For the record Mel B, you were my favourite Spice Girl. 

What is Cheryl doing auditioning? Oh hold on, it's someone else. Loved Simon's, "The vocals were spot on" quote. The King is well and truly back. 

Anyway, after Simon told Louie his two fans had gone home. We got back to the talent.

It must have been really hard for Amy Connolly to come back to the X Factor after losing out at judges houses in 2008 but when you have an angelic voice like hers, you should never give up. Never. A very emotional, note perfect audition. Fantastic.

Simon was left alone with the persistent Shayden Willis after Mel, Cheryl and Louie walked off. I just wish he had been given more time...

The weird and wonderful followed including a buffet being provided by one of the contestants mum's. Forget the singing. I'm blooming starving now.

If posh, beauty and faultless singing is your bag then you would have loved Chloe Jasmine. She gave tonight's show a real breath of fresh air, with her uniqueness. She is definitely one to watch.

After Simon wound up Cheryl, the last act up tonight was Jay James. The ex soldier gave it everything, I agreed with Simon, it started slowly, then built in to a crescendo that left the judges wanting more.

What an amazing first show, having Simon and Cheryl back made the show feel fresh and fun again. Mel B looks like a great acquisition and Louie is, well Louie. Excellent production by Mark Sidaway, Leo Holden and the team. 10/10 

Right, I'm off to smash up some guitars...see you tomorrow