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Debs Wild Headshot

How About Saying 'I May Do', Rather Than 'I Do'?

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Even with our insatiable appetite for celebrity gossip growing, it still amazes me that we believe what we read. We discuss the scandals of the rich and famous, passing commentary and judgements on those that are strangers to us as if we know them. Maybe that's why we mourn their deaths with such emotion.

Some celebs share personal details of their lives with us via Twitter. When their marriages end, that's become the customary way to announce it. Some still opt for a fairly generic press release but either way; none of us do that thing that's asked and respect their privacy at that time.
We search & read of extra-marital affairs, addictions, salacious goings on, partying lifestyles and recently, the reluctance to have children as reasons for its demise.

Regardless, none of us really know what goes on behind their closed doors - let's face it, sometimes not even behind our own.

If you want to know why many of these relationships really ended, I think I know. It's very simple. They got married. They got married far too soon.

Can you imagine if us "civilians" (thanks to Liz Hurley for that reference) wed within the same rapid timescale that a number of VIPs do? People would think we were crazy. I doubt famous people are wired differently but they do seem to think it's absolutely normal to meet someone and marry them without bothering to woo, date or get to know each other outside of the bedroom. Lust and its intoxicating lure tricks most brains but it seems to turn those in the public eye to mush.

I've had urges and been swept up in heady romances. I love spontaneity but not when it comes to sprinting down the aisle. I prefer a courtship. I have been proposed to and apparently two of my other boyfriends did want to marry me but didn't get around to asking. Given I'm single I'd say it's a jolly good job I didn't marry any of the above contenders as I'd have had four unsuccessful marriages under my belt.

I've never been all that interested in getting or being married. Who knows, perhaps that's why one of those relationships lasted 11 years and another for seven?

There's a big part of me that dreads change once the rings have been exchanged. I've witnessed it so I'm of the opinion 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'.

I didn't want a ceremony, a contract or a name change to show my level of commitment or to validate my unions. All of my break-ups were painful, some complicated and a few involved turmoil and massive moving home upheavals. I'm glad I don't have 4 divorces to add to the list.

Yet Drew Barrymore and Tom Green / Jeremy Thomas, Russell Brand and Katy Perry, Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney, Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd, Rick Salomon and Pamela Anderson / Shannen Doherty and countless others rushed in where this fallen angel fears to tread.

So why is there a compulsion amongst some celebrities to have such a short dating period before a whirlwind (and occasionally even shorter) marriage?

Maybe they are blinkered in thinking that their love is indestructible. They're not much different to you & I but they are extremely wealthy. That affluence means their impatience can be bought and paid off. If we ordinary folk get caught up in the heat of the moment, we'd probably have to wait. We'd plan and save for the big day where the stars can afford to be impulsive.

Money talks. It also invariably gets up and walks.

Disclaimer: This piece is based on actual events. In certain cases incidents, characters and timelines have been changed for dramatic purposes. Certain characters - including myself - may be entirely fictitious.

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