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Dr Laura Nelson

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Journey Towards a Gender Stereotype-Free World

Posted: 20/06/2012 00:00

Are you a man or a woman? I ask because your sex will determine your likelihood of pursuing certain routes in life, and these likelihoods are different for each sex.

Four-fifths of UK politicians are male, only one eighth of British FTSE 100 directorships are held by women, and most nurses are female. Men are more likely to start a business and UK women get paid, on average, 15.5% less than UK men. If you're female, you're more likely to spend time with your kids. If you're male, you're more likely to end up in prison.

I bet you're thinking: So what? Who cares what other people do? You're right. Individuals are free to pursue what they want - there aren't laws blocking us anymore, at least in the Western world. Nowadays, women don't need their husband's permission to get a mortgage. Nowadays, women can vote. Nowadays, school leavers aren't given separate careers forms with different job possibilities for boys versus girls.

But are we, as individuals, really free?

The overt prohibitions of the past have turned into subtle restrictions of the present. Social gender pressures are still there but now to give in to them is voluntary. Sounds better? Only thing is that social pressures are often the strongest pressures of all.

Marketing exploits gender stereotypes, channelling utterly different products and lifestyles to boys versus girls, men versus women, tapping into social norms, reinforcing differences and promoting the development of different skills, interests and goals. In society generally, women and girls and encouraged to be and rewarded for being pretty, polite and passive, while boys and men must be macho, protective and strong.

Parents, teachers, peer groups and employers buy into this without even realising it, and failure to conform results in ridicule and ostracism. The more we do something, the better we get. So before know it, girls and boys en masse are enjoying and pursuing divergent activities and roles in society.

I still know what you're thinking. But men and women are naturally different!

I encounter this line from blog commenters, journalists and critics. A couple of years ago, I began to question its truth. I read books and articles. For months, I studied the evidence and its implications, and, when I emerged from my review period, I was excited and liberated. My conclusion: there is no universal scientific consensus that men and women are born with different cognitive (thinking and reasoning) skills. Conversely and worryingly, what we do with our brain as we progress through life is far more likely to change its structure and function.

At the end of December 2011, I successfully campaigned to remove the gender-specific labels from Hamleys toyshop, arguing that the separation restricted parent's and children's choices, interests and aspirations. The story received explosive and substantial media coverage all over the world. The reaction, a potent mixture of extreme support and passionate anger, showed how emotional this topic is; that it resonates with people's relationship with their identities - or their unrest at being forced into identities they don't want.

Many people told me they hadn't considered the issue before, or they had assumed the sexes were born different. Some who had vehemently opposed me in the past changed their minds and became advocates. Many were grateful that the topic is in the limelight and open for debate, progress and change.

My new project builds on this. Breakthrough: The Gender Stereotypes Project is a groundbreaking schools programme that kickstarts the gender stereotypes debate among children, their parents and their teachers. I am working with Laura Kirsop, inspiring and dynamic year 5 teacher at Soho Parish School in central London, to run a two-week lesson programme, beginning on Monday, with the aim of exploring the influence gender stereotypes. It follows concerns from pupils and parents that stereotyping may be stopping children from fulfilling their true potential.

Breakthrough's aims are to benefit both boys and girls, to encourage debate, rather than pushing children into thinking a certain way, and to cover all aspects of gender stereotype awareness - interests, marketing, aspirations, personality strengths and skills. It's a project about individual freedom and tolerance, acceptance and respect.

So what's next? Following the pilot, the plan is to roll this out so more children can benefit. The demand is there - I am receiving requests from parents, governors, teachers and potential partners, and ideas to develop this programme to cover more age groups with more material.

People often ask me: I know gender stereotypes are affecting my kids - what can we do about it?

I say: you can either lobby for laws or practices to change or you can shift a culture at its core. Changing a culture from the inside out is Breakthrough's mission. If the tide is there, it will turn, and we may see a new horizon before us.

 

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04:52 AM on 06/26/2012
Dr Nelson is brilliant and deserves everyone's support. I'm glad I saw this.
08:12 PM on 06/20/2012
It is nature.. the Hunter/Gathereer... Women say they want to be treated just like men but at the sametime hang on to the dream of a Princess wedding.. women can not have it both ways. It is a a significant part of the economical crisis, if women were more traditional and were happy being homemakers, more men would have a job and more children would have a structured family. As for the Government talking about " Positive Discrimination " is that not just discriminating against White hetrosexual men ???? Shouldnt jobs go to the best qualified regardless of sex,race or sexual orientation ?
02:38 PM on 06/20/2012
I absolutely agree with the need to challenge gender stereotyping; it is how I raised my own children. But there is an arduous uphill battle here. How do we combat a social system which suggests that men have a less than important, if not defunct, role in parenting? In 2011, there were 2 million lone parents with dependent children, accounting for 26% of all families with dependent children in the UK. 92% of these lone parents were women. (Office for National Statistics, 2012). Furthermore, the Family Courts in this country are guilty of the worst gender stereotyping - in many cases failing to support fathers requests for appropriate contact. "Reasonable" contact for many dads is deemed to be every other weekend and one night a week - for others the court process totally removes a father from his child's life.

In promoting individual freedom and tolerance, acceptance and respect - perhaps we need to tackle the prejudices of the policy makers as well as promoting our children's individuality.
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mmartini54
Roll on 2015!
01:57 PM on 06/20/2012
Weirdly, the most gender repressive people, the Victorians, didn't have these hang ups about baby's colours - both sexes wearing similar colours and clothing until toddlerhood. So I wonder just how important it is in the grand scheme of things. In my view, making sure you don't force anything on a child, or make them feel bad about their choices, is the way to go.

When playing 'dress up' for example, if a little boy wants to dress up in a princess dress and a little girl wants to wear the fireman's hat, why on earth shouldn't they? To deny them that is simply foisting our own hollow prejudices on to them!
12:52 PM on 06/20/2012
One of the many reasons why overcoming gender stereotyping matters so much:
17-Month-Old Boy Is Beaten to Death for "Acting Like a Girl"
www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-rowe/what-it-says-about-us-whe_b_671373.html
10:22 AM on 06/20/2012
I remember going into Mothercare some years ago wishing to buy an unborn child a welcome to the world present/card, pram/cot blanket etc. Anything they had in store was either blue or pink! I asked the assistant what if I want yellow, green or lavender? 'She' told me that it wasn't possible they only sold stereotypical colours. I left!

I understand that there are so many people in the world who are living someone elses' life instead of their own; as they feel their own life in unacceptable to society in general and maybe their loved ones in particular, this in my view is persecution! Self inflicted maybe, definitely institutional, but persecution none the less.

The problem is institutional prejudice and stigma in all its forms. How many times a day, on the news and in the media, do we hear/see this (age) person did this or that? There is many more female binge drinkers than there is male etc... Even today we here there is more 'young people' out of work, its not just young people (dreadful though that is) out of work, there are all age groups male and female people out of work. And so it goes on, and on...

It is a sad indictment to the 21st Century that we have to live with this kind of institutional prejudice and stigma. The other sad part of this is that I can't see it changing in the foreseeable future.
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Hdaryl01
11:49 PM on 06/19/2012
For gender stereotypes to go away, women will need to give up their gender specific deference and privileges-i.e. "WOMEN and children first", etc. All laws will need to be written and enforced in a gender neutral fashion. Women will need to be prepetrators of everything men can currently perpetrate, not just fulfill the victim role. And, all people will need to be treated exactly equally in all respects, in all circumstances. This eventuality is highly unlikely as to make it happen would require sacrifice on the part of women, not men. And, THAT would require giving up special privileges and deference on the part of women.
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mmartini54
Roll on 2015!
01:59 PM on 06/20/2012
I hear your pain, brother. Let it ALL out...
04:33 PM on 06/20/2012
SPOT ON. THEY WANT IT EVERY WAY BUT LOOSE BUT IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT carefull what they wish for hey?
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Arion
11:11 PM on 06/19/2012
When they reach 16, I will be happy to buy my grand daughter an AK 47 and some semtec, while buying my grandson Manolos and a complete set of Streisand. In the meantime, though, I'm happy buying the boy airplane models and the girl the Madeline books and Kate Greenway frocks. Honestly, I love gender.
10:33 PM on 06/19/2012
Didn't we do this excersize in the 60's?
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08:40 PM on 06/19/2012
I can't believe they let a girl publish an article like this.