LIFESTYLE

15 Things You Only Know If You're A Serial Drunk Texter

That dirty talk though.

02/02/2017 16:41 GMT

Ladies and gentlemen, the tech heroes at Whatsapp have finally noticed what we’ve all known for years - we are simply not responsible enough to text without regret when alcohol is in the equation. 

Now, to save us from ourselves, a trial update for the app lets you recall and edit sent messages. Hallelujah. 

But there is a slight glitch, it only works if the text hasn’t already been read. So you’re going to need to sober up pretty quickly to get out of this one. 

These are 15 things you only know if you’re a serial drunk texter. 

1. You tell yourself tonight is the night.

The night that you finally manage to keep your adult shit together.

2. You are one glass down.

And still feeling in control. 

3. You move on to your second glass.

Your fingers succumb to the gravitational pull of the keys.

4. You pick your victim.

Hint, it will always be the one with maximum potential fallout.  

5. You have a sudden rush of feelings for your ex.

Even though you haven’t actually thought about them sober since 2008.

6. You decide texting one person isn’t enough. 

That colleague definitely wants to hear about how much you fancy them right now.

7. You are so pleased with the quality of the message.

Bossed it. 

8. You don’t receive a response within 90 seconds.

Best send another. 

9. You know your friends are 100% not supportive of this life choice.

What do they know?

10. You hide in the toilet to continue your important work.

Now the ideas are really flowing. 

11. You move from complete sentences to endless words.

Sent in three separate messages.

12. You know you are making some really valid points.

Yes, yes, yes. 

13. You practice your dirty talk.

How could anyone not fancy this? 

14. You wake up the next morning.

Nope nope nope nope. 

15. You eventually force yourself to read them. 

Oh holy Jesus.