PARENTS

How Miserable Experiences Can Become The Stuff Of Family Legend

The worse the time, the better the story...

22/11/2017 10:41 GMT

Often the worst experiences make the best tales: the stories than can bind a family together with ‘remember whens’ and laughing so much you cry. Children love hearing stories of their silliest behaviour or tales of your own family’s antics when you were young. So next time you’re stuck in some horror scene, remember the mantra ‘we’ll look back and laugh’. You really will.

Here, we share some of the hilarious worst/best stories.

“The time my two-year-old got locked in her bedroom (it was an old door with a keyhole but I’d never had the key). I called 999 in a panic after several failed attempts to kick the door in (which is a lot harder than it looks on TV!) and the fire service rescued her. She was totally unruffled by the whole experience and invited the firefighters into her room to look at her toys.” Catherine

“When my son and my friend’s daughter discovered the nappy cream pot, undressed, totally, smeared it all over themselves and emerged triumphant like mini ghouls. We should have known it was too quiet that they must have been up to mischief. My friend and I love recounting this story, especially they’re now slightly gauche teenagers. Revenge!” Jo

“The time my son got chased into misty Scottish woods by a Doberman and I nearly died of fear and horror.” Flic

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“When my daughter was 18 months and my son about four years old, I showed them the John Lewis Christmas advert - the one with the bear who sleeps in a cave - and my son cried buckets because it was ‘too cute’. I tried everything to stop him crying but he was flooding the house so I decided to take them out for some fresh air to cheer him up (and let the sound of his crying have a bit more space). Gloves, coats, scarves, boots on, we headed out and, as we crossed the first road, my daughter fell and cracked her head open. There was blood pouring into her eyes and next thing I knew we were all on our way to A&E.

“The doctor said she might need a general anaesthetic to put in stitches, whereupon my son started screaming about how they were going to put his sister to sleep and hurt her. (I think he was still emotional from the ad to be honest!). Four years on, they LOVE hearing this story.” Katharine

“The time I took my then three-year-old to a Christmas service and the hot wax from the candles dripped all down her hand and she wailed like a banshee. Literally every time we walk past that church it comes up again.” Liz

“Discovering my son Tom had ‘practised his writing’ across the bedroom wall above his bed in black marker pen. He was so proud - and then so crushed when he realised it wasn’t such a clever thing to do.” Joseph

“We were on holiday in Jersey at the time of the 1966 World Cup Final - the one England won! My mum was sent to the beach with my brother, sister, me, my aunty and two-year-old cousin. We returned to the hotel at the time she’d been instructed but the game was still on. My cousin Joanna ran into the TV lounge, tripped over the TV cord and pulled out the plug. By the time order was restored and it was plugged back in, the game was over and everybody had missed the last few minutes. She has never lived it down and we still tease her about it.” Jane

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“My older son’s sixth birthday party was a bowling party at the local leisure centre. As we got into the car to go, I dropped the birthday cake I’d lovingly made on the drive and the whole thing splattered. Then there was an accident just ahead of us so we were late and my mum had to greet all the guests (who she’d never met) and as we turned into the car park, my younger son vomited so violently on to the back of the passenger seat of the car (where I was sitting) that it rattled the head rest. Every birthday we recount this story, much to their delight.” Kerry

“Just before family and friends arrived for our daughter’s baby blessing, my husband decided he didn’t feel well and curled up under her baby gym. He then pulled himself together and it all went fine...except he and I had been incubating Norovirus, which we then gave to all but about three of our guests. Our kids love hearing this story but I’m not sure our friends have quite forgiven us.” Alex

“My dad tried to teach my sister, aged 15 at the time, to windsurf one holiday. It was not a success. After 90 minutes of climbing on the board, getting shouted at, repeatedly falling face-first in the water, my sister decided she’d had enough. ‘Douglases are NOT quitters,’ our father screamed at her. She replied, ‘WELL, THIS ONE IS!!’. ‘Douglases Are Not Quitters’ now gets trotted out regularly, though not in the spirit that my father intended.” Lucy