LIFESTYLE

People Reveal The Ridiculous Reasons They Had To Stop Halfway Through Sex

Awkwaaaaard.

10/07/2017 11:35

People have shared the reasons why they had to stop halfway through sex - and it’s safe to say, they’re hilarious.

From bodily noises that you simply can’t ignore to saying the wrong thing, here are their stories.

(Prepare to cringe, hard.) 

Volanthevist via Getty Images

Unfortunate Noises

“I made a noise that was a cross between a moan and the grudge and choking sounds. We were laughing so hard we couldn’t go on.”

Awkward Encouragements

“Wife finished and was waiting for me to finish. Heat of the moment and close to finishing she looks at me and says, ‘you can do it buddy’. That was the end of it and [it] was like a deflated balloon how fast it went down. Still joke about it... outside of the bedroom of course.”

Spotify Shuffle

“She left her music on ‘shuffle all’, which worked fine until the Woody Woodpecker theme song came on.”

Dodgy Beds 

“The bed collapsed and tipped us onto the floor. It happened again a few years later in a different bed.”

Just Popping Out

“You know those overlapping fabric gaps in some men’s underwear? Like a fly without a zip. So in the heat of the moment I’m kneeling over my mostly naked girlfriend and I decided it would be great to pop it out of the gap in my underwear. 

“Instead of her grabbing my dick as it had panned out in my mind she damn near pissed herself laughing at my boner sticking out of the middle of these bright yellow briefs I had on. She was laughing so much we couldn’t have sex, but we still have a laugh at it whenever we remember (or when I wear the underwear).”

Loud Noises

“A tree (big branch?) fell onto a car in our street. Admittedly I kept going but she wanted to see what was going on.”

Punctual Delivery Men

“Delivery Indian food that was supposed to arrive in 45-60 minutes arrived in more like 12 minutes.”

Unwanted Visitors 

“The farmer whose field we were parked in showed up and we had to make a run for it.”

Dirty Talk

“I’ve never been great at dirty talking and always feel overwhelmingly awkward whenever I try... but one night we were both a little drunk and I tried to be sexy by saying ‘punish me’.

“I guess I didn’t say it very loudly so I (thought) I heard him ask back, ‘punish you?’ So I said yes... and then he proceeded to awkwardly but lightly punch me in the boob. Startled, I asked him what the fuck. Turns out he thought I said ‘punch me’. We had to stop because I was cackling so much after that.”

Ice Cream

“We heard the ice cream truck outside.”

Holding It In

“Almost farted, the idea of farting upwards while thrusting made me think of a steam engine, I laughed uncontrollably. Kudos to my first girlfriend for just benignly rolling her eyes at my immaturity.”

The Performance

“She grabbed my cock, tapped and spoke into it: ‘Is this thing on?’

“It was over before it began!”

Hello Kitty

“Cat jumped on the bed to see what all the commotion was about.”

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