Shopping Centre Santas Reveal The Worst Parts Of The Job

'A puppy, a pony, and a hand grenade.'

11/11/2016 14:52

Taking your child to Santa’s grotto is an important part of Christmas for many parents (especially when they’ve been nagging since September). 

But spare a thought for Father Christmas, who has to spend 12 hours listening to other people’s children demanding gifts and trying to maintain a modicum of Christmas spirit.

Six shopping centre Santas have taken to Reddit to divulge the worst parts about their seasonal job. 

The Suit

“For one, they don’t tell you that wearing a Santa suit is like wearing an ill fitting suit made of fiberglass insulation. Hot and itchy as f**k.”

ked_man 

Unreasonable Requests

“At my school one child asked me for: ‘A puppy, a pony and a hand grenade’.”

SpidersJohnson

Working With Children

“Was a santa in a pub once, took a shot of vodka beforehand, the second kid in pulled my beard off, then the third wanted a Ferrari... Let’s just say it was a long three hours.”

UK_Dirty_Bird 

Staying In Character 

“You’ve got to play Santa the whole time since a lot of kids come in too. So imagine being in a play where you don’t know the lines and that play is six hours long.”

ked_man 

Unwanted Insights Into Families

“When I was a Santa during university years, the most memorable thing was a child who asked for a same-sex partner for his dad, because his mum had moved on.”

Back2Bach 

Taking Photographs (With Children And Animals) 

“The same people with ill mannered kids also have ill mannered pets. Now imagine a family photo with six little brats and four dogs. I’m holding a small kid with one arm and basically choking a small dog by its collar so it won’t bite my sleeve anymore. All the while I too have to smile.”

ked_man

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