So, it’s official, if you want to star in the second series of Netflix’s Stranger Things, you’re going to need to be willing to go for the chop.
Details leaked from the casting call say that all female actresses could be asked to have a haircut (and if series one is anything to go by we could all be getting an Eleven-style buzz cut).
But is anything really worth the emotional rollercoaster that is getting your hair cut short?
1. Boredom or a pseudo need for a life change is always where the haircut cycle starts.
You convince yourself you “can’t do anything” with your long hair anymore.
2. You book the appointment.
The commitment is made and you feel like finally, you’re taking control of your life.
3. The day before your appointment you have a good hair day and get loads of compliments.
Existential crisis ensues.
4. Sitting in the hairdresser’s chair, you undergo new, unwelcome realisations about your face.
My ears are how fucking big?
5. They wash your hair and you look like a bald, drowned cat.
What is this fresh hell?
6. You should just tell the hairdresser to pull the plug and leave.
But Britishness dictates you would rather have a year of terrible hair than 30 seconds of awkwardness.
7. Watching your locks tumble to the floor in dramatic fashion.
An aggressive reminder of the consequences of badly-thought out plans.
8. The hairdresser convinces you to take it next level and get a fringe too.
Must learn to stand up for myself before my next hair appointment.
9. You go home and try to fix the problem yourself.
The Titanic of bad ideas.
10. Arctic winds blow: you realise you can no longer use your hair as a scarf.
BUT the cold winter.
11. Trying to tie it up and it falls out instantly.
12. And don’t even get us started on the fringe.
Look at this hot mess.
13. Deciding you can never leave the house again.
Will become hermit and live out my days in log cabin.
14. Plucking up the courage to go out and someone says: “I always thought your hair looked nice long”.
*Reaches for that beanie*.