For a woman without a child of her own, Mother's Day can be a challenging time. It can bring to the fore any pain, grief or sense of loss associated with not being a mother. Yet, we are all mothers, we all give birth to new life and create awesome things, whether it be in a physical, intellectual, emotional or spiritual form.
As well as celebrating mothers, this Mothering Sunday I celebrate women without children, a diverse group that bring invaluable gifts of love and beingness to the world. I celebrate your mothering qualities, your love, generosity, strength, passion and awesomeness. You are here for a reason, it may not be to have children, though will be of immense value to the world. I encourage you to find your truth and rightness and express it out into the world. Let your beauty radiate outwards.
I celebrate all women on Mothering Sunday
Those who have children and those who don't
Those who from their womb space give birth to new life
- Creative life in vast myriad of forms
Be it physical, intellectual, emotional or spiritual
I celebrate those who are "aunts" or godmothers
Friends, teachers and guides for the young
I acknowledge the grief and pain
Of many women who for whatever reasons
Don't have children of their own
Yours is not an easy path
You are of value and worth, and are truly loved
Origions of Mothering Sunday
Traditionally Mothering Sunday was a time in the year prior to Easter, when servants would have the day off to go and visit their families and attend their "Mother" church. Interestingly Anna Jarvis who first introduced the concept of Mother's Day in 1914 was childless and intended that the celebratory day include aunts, godmothers and those who mother the children of others. I would like to honour women and mothering in the way that Anna Jarvis initially intended. Additionally in many indigenous cultures childrearing was the responsibility of the whole tribe and not solely that of the mother and father, so let's celebrate all involved in mothering.
Express the mother in you
Women who don't have children of their own, often mother other people's children and have a natural mothering instinct. They are aunts and godmothers, friends, teachers and guides, who are very much loved and play an invaluable role in the lives of the children they connect with. Sometimes mothering women may mother other adults, those with additional support needs or even their own parents. They may mother friends and support mothers who need a break from the constant care involved in childrearing. Many women dedicate their lives to the care of animals or the environment. They offer oceans of love from the depths of their hearts. Today I celebrate these diverse women who play a vital role in society.
The womb is a creative space and those whose wombs are not used for procreation, give birth in many other beautiful ways. They give birth to projects, ideas and creations that enhance the world, just think of Oprah Winfrey, Jane Austen or Florence Nightingale for example. Yet your contribution to the world does not to be as ostentatious as these examples, even the small things we do in life make a big difference. Just be your wonderful self, shine your light and you brighten up the world. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said "To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded."
Honour being without children
So for those who aren't mothers, how might you acknowledge and celebrate this Mothering Sunday (or any other day for that matter). Here are some ideas...
- It's important to acknowledge and work through any pain or issues you have around not being a mother. Grief is best worked through with another, so find a friend or therapist that you can share your experiences with.
- Find a way to express and honour your childlessness
- Join or initiate a women's circle for mutual support and sharing. I find being part of a women's circle a very nurturing and supportive thing to engage with. Or find a support group online, there is a facebook group entitled "Women - without children" you are welcome to join or email me and I will add you to our newsletter (firstname.lastname@example.org)
- Be creative - give birth and energy to creative ideas and projects that inspire you.
- Borrow your friends children and take them to the park and have some fun!
- Mother yourself. We can so often easily give to others, yet not receive for ourselves. Do something for you, that brings you joy each and every day, be it a walk in nature, quiet time, some nourishing food or something else....
- Sometimes non-mothers lose touch with their femininity and body. Do something to connect you with your sensuality, maybe book a massage or have a bath with some essential oils.
- Celebrate your awesomeness in a way that feels right for you.
I celebrate your awesomeness today and every other day.
With love and gratitude from my heart to yours, Fiona