I was sitting outside a posh restaurant at the harbour front waiting for my date. It had been on my mind all day and to try and calm my nerves I had squeezed in a gym visit beforehand.
Admittedly the worst part of the wait was that I couldn't quite remember what she looked like. I was sure she was pretty ,problem was a combination of low lighting and excessive drinking meant I couldn't quite remember her face. I was worried drink had made her attractive that first night I met her and asked her out for a drink , not her own god given looks
She materialised.
She was slender with slightly dark features and I was right, she was beautiful. I can be a bit critical of a woman's looks and find myself , even in my current position where I really shouldn't get too choosy , picking out imperfections, but I didn't do it with her...or couldn't.
She was smiling, although am not sure if she was happy to see me , or just cheerful. Looking back that really doesn't matter , if she walked over glum or looking angry, well , that wouldn't have been so positive and possibly cause for concern.
She went to the bar , declining my offer of a drink, I think I was taking advantage of being outside and smoking to try and calm my nerves. Polar opposite effect of course, but booze numbs all that and I'd got through half my stout and it was starting to mellow the fluttering in my chest.
We chatted about nothing in particular, moved inside into the warmth and the conversation slowly unravelled. I found out she was actually Northern but had moved to the South at a significant school age, I found out more about her job as a lawyer and I am pretty certain I learned that a friend of hers once canoed in the harbour and came across a floating dead body with her oar. Nice! I don't remember all the conversation we had but I do also remember mentioning I liked the idea of trotting round Canada exploring the place , she seemed to like that idea.
As we were talking I'd slowly moved my hand towards hers, it wasn't a stylish move and it was probably quite blatant but she hadn't shied away and slowly but surely our hands were touching, mine stroking and playing with hers gently as we talked. Not sure why I did it or do it but its just a thing I do!
After a couple drinks we changed venue and took a stroll through the harbourside area onwards to clifton to the Adam and Eve pub ( a quiet cosy pub ). As we walked there I remember being mesmerised by her eyes. Something that had totally bowled me over was how bright they seemed, they literally sparkled and were truly stunning to me. As we walked and talked she had changed into a pair of shoes she had in her bag ( bit organised! ) which revealed her true height , slightly shorter than myself. Taller women aren't really for me, I need to feel like the one with physical dominance, don't think I am unique in the slightest feeling that way. Our arms were hooked round each other and we would occasionaly stop to kiss. I didn't think the date was going too badly.
At the pub we had another drink and set about calculating which pubs we'd visited on a map of the breweries' other public homes. We were sitting close her hands inside the sleeve of my shirt and running up and down my forearm. I quite liked the place which she had taken a massive dislike to due to the choice of music playing , I reckon it was Jamie Cullum. Am not 100% but whatever it was , she was not a fan.
As we walked back we shared the fantasy of living in one of the magnificent houses in the area, at one point I remember saying ' look this is where we'll move too' to move ourselves along. She sounded excited, I knew it was the thought of living in the Clifton area not actually sharing a future with myself which excited her but I didn't care ( and of course it was more realistic then her being besotted with me on our second meeting ) it was fun to share the fantasy. I did however dwell on the fact I'd said that which potentially sounded creepy. Hopefully she didn't care.
After what I remember seemed like more playful banter on the stroll back as I walked her home we arrived at the gate protecting her front door from the busy main road she lived on.
As we stood outside her place we kissed , a lot. This time it was more passionate, the touching more affectionate, she would break away and take a gasp of air before kissing me more. It felt great, she felt great. I had to ask her out again, make sure I didn't lose my chance! It turned out she was going to a wedding at the weekend, but might cancel if she had a better offer ( she had said jokingly ), her smile at that moment made her look smouldering to me, she went from beautiful to stunning in that split second and a chord in me had been struck. 'will I see you again?' she said with the same smile that right then I'd kill for. Feeling totally submerged in the moment I could barely talk ' you don't have to ask' I practically whispered grinning back. She went inside and I walked a couple paces feeling great, I couldn't have felt better at the moment. I walked several steps and without looking down thought to myself , ' ahh fuck , I just walked through a big pile of sick!'.
Some berk had been sick near her door and I had just walked through it.
It could have been symbolic but not entirely sure how. I knew it would be a good way to end my evening story to my flatmate , and it was :)
I got home had a brief exchange of words with my flat mate who was entertaining at the time and eventually nodded off for the night still feeling damn good about meeting someone like my date.
I waited anxiously for the following week when she's be back from her wedding and I'd be able to ask her out again. I think it was the following Thursday I texted to ask if she wanted to go for a drink , we had a brief exchange of texts but she wasn't able to make it, long work hours or something. The next day I texted again but as I remember there was no reply , this got me a little gutted. I waited but no message ever came. I thought we had got on well , but clearly she wasn't that interested. I felt down about it and unfortunately the following weekend I texted one more time , it wasn't a desperate message, something simple like 'just wondered if you fancied going out for a drink' , but I felt desperate for texting again, it was clear it was over.
The down feeling passed and ever since I've wondered what she'd actually thought of the evening...and me. I doubt I'll ever know , during our evening together she mentioned moving from London to Bristol and how she hadn't felt ready to move away from the Capital. guess she could be back there - hopefully I wasn't the negative catalyst for her move back!!
One date to remember and although at the time I felt a little rejected, writing this brought back a good feeling. It wasn't a great feeling post date , the rejection, but rather that than no dates at all eh?
Anyways it's her loss.