This post was originally written September 5th 2010.
I am middle-class, Caucasian, British, a graduate, a home owner, a full-time employee, a heavy smoker and a binge drinker. Two of those labels I don't like so this is my plan to remove them from my persona.
I like to drink. I like the taste, the pleasant numbing sensation after a couple 'cheeky ones'. The conversations that unfold, the unplanned nights out successfully locating mates via badly typed texts , thinking up the next place to go , cracking jokes amongst strangers. Feeling the anticipation from the potential of romance. Sheesha , Doner Kebab ( "chilli sauce, salad?" ) , pirated movies or trash TV , a cheesy 80s club or a sophisticated late licensed bar for young professionals.
I like to drink , I binge drink , and now I'd like to stop.
I have been a heavy smoker and binge drinker for the last 15 years and get more conscious of the health risks as I suffer the almighty hangovers from excessive consumption of liver damaging alcohol and lots of artery clogging cigarettes. In one night I have drunk 8 pints of Guinness a whole bottle of wine and several big shots of whisky accompanied by 60-80 cigarettes. It is recommended that men do not regularly exceed 3-4 units a day. At a guess I would have consumed around 20-25 units in that one night. Having a higher tolerance just means it costs more , you don't really improve the drunken experience just prolong the ensuing hangover.
The negatives I can list from 15 years of binge drinking are:
- Head/leg/elbow bruising, cuts, tears from taking spectacular falls on deceptively flat pavements.
- Getting attacked and unable to defend myself.
- Forgotten whole segments of nights out.
- Been obnoxiously rude/aggressive to friends and loved ones.
- Suffered anxiety attacks and heart palpitations with some bouts so severe they prompted trips to A&E, having to have ECG s an ultra sound scan and wear a heart monitor for a week - all for inconclusive data , ( at least the ultrasound detected my heart was structurally normal )
- Ruined several relationships from my aggressive behaviour.
- Been arrested and questioned over assault allegations - did I do it? I don't remember!.
Even after 15 years I have been lucky enough to build up a life around my binge drinking. The people I have hurt when 'tanked up' and misbehaving are still good friends - very good friends. I also have a good job and recently got on the property ladder. I have a direction in life and a good platform to work from.
I am however single, have been for quite a while and starting to feel it. At one point I'd like to think I will become a family man , it would certainly be nice to have the option.
Quitting booze might not get me a girlfriend but at the very least I could be out and about doing things instead of sitting on the sofa detoxing, am not going to find a potential partner stuck down the sofa ( I haven't actually looked but am confident she's not there )
Also my current house-mate and best friend is expecting Feb 2011 and as an honorary uncle I want to be a good role model and responsible adult.
Now I don't intend to give up alcohol totally, I don't normally drink during the week unless on say a date, even then its not many to ensure work isn't affected. But my weekends are solely taken up excessively drinking, Friday to celebrate the start of the weekend and Sat to suppress Fridays hangover. I have had countless Sundays dreading a miserable Monday at work where each minute will be a hard slog struggling through the simplest tasks and interactions. Sundays spent plunged into alcoholic depression waiting for my head to stop throbbing and the ethanol to drain out my system
Recently I have started to have sober weekends, by volume the rarest kind of weekend!. They've made me realise that I don't have to drink , and don't have to suffer the hangovers, depression and disjointed sleep pattern....or kebab breath!
These dry weekends have made me realise that I can get things done, visit places and learn things. They have made me realise in essence I am a tad boring and when not looking forward to being sober, am a tad bored. Now I am not a total wash-out and do , do things. In the last year I have
- Become a student of martial arts ( kung-fu ) , and Krav Maga.
- I have tried out rowing at the local harbourside.
- Been an active member of a gym (at one point visiting over 4 times a week until a cut in my salary meant missed gym payments).
- Tried salsa dancing and capoeira.
- Been out to various shows and several gigs.
- Been out to numerous restaurants including one held in a squat run by freeconomists and a supper club in Southville (an area local to my current dwelling in Bristol).
But I want to be able to do more , get into groups and become things , do stuff , meet people , travel. drink can come with those things not hinder them
To help increase the threat I am making against my drinking habit I am making a list of things I need to do. Things I need to do before I can drink again, creating a gap large enough for my tolerance to decrease and my health to increase. I am not alcohol dependent so don't want to drop drink totally, but the binging can now f**k off as far as I am concerned!
My list is -
- No drink and no cigarettes for 9 weeks minimum.
- Can do 30 chin-ups in a row.
- Must be able to jog around the local parks and other hilly areas non-stop for at least 20 minutes.
- Can do 100 press-ups in one session.
- Have studied at least one Tony Buzan Book (techniques to improve memory)
- Can perform and hold a handstand for 20 seconds.
- Have an apple , the juice of a lemon and a kiwi fruit daily.
- Start free-running ( I love the look of free-running ).
The list is small but i think realistic. Just getting up to a reasonable level of fitness for jogging with smokers lungs will take a while, the chin-ups and press-ups will help me get into better shape and will cost nothing ( the local park has a chin-up bar....or a hanging bar for very tall young children ). My list will help me improve my memory , build muscle and improve my cardio while making sure I have 3 of my 5 a day recommended fruit and veg. I'll look and feel better , I won't feel as depressed from decreased serotonin levels, I'll be able to concentrate and focus better at work and do more in my free time.
I have mixed feelings about this but I know its the right thing to do. Its what I really want and I know I'll feel good afterwards. So here it is Nine weeks starting today 05/09/2010. 9 weeks, 9 weekends , 63 days or roughly 450 units of alcohol and 1260 cigarettes avoided.
This is the first post to record my intention and with this and twitter I will keep a record of my progress and the experience as a whole.
Its going to be tough, but here goes....