"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and to it, I plight thee my troth."
Statics revealed that here in Finland, 50% of marriages come to an end in the first three years. Finland is rated number one in the world when it comes to education. It is also number one on the list of best countries to raise a family (according to expats). Finland is overall one of the best countries to live in, in the top five of many categories such as quality of life, rights, freedom, etc.).
Knowing as the fact that the quality of life is one of the best in the world and then being confronted with the divorce rates I must ask myself; "where the **** do we go wrong?"
I am not going to make assumptions about possible causes. However, I am going to share with you the cornerstone of our marriage. I hope that it will help couples that are on the verge of getting married or divorced.
Our marriage is not a traditional one. We are born in different parts of the world (tropics and subarctic). In other words, very different cultures (not to forget the language). Different religions, (Catholic and Lutheran) I must say though that neither one of us is the religious type. We don't share the same skin tone, colour of eyes nor colour or type of hair.
I guess that you can say that we are an; international, intercultural, inter-religious, interracial couple with a ten year age difference.
On top of all of this; HE is in perfect health, and SHE is completely paralyzed (cannot move at all and cannot speak either).
You might think that the odds are against us. However, marriage is not a game of odds. Marriage is a karma thing; what you put in, you get out.
One of the cornerstones of our union is; "honesty." "No reservations"; If either side cannot be honest and trust on the honesty of the other, if honesty fades away, so will the respect and soon after the love will die, and the relationship will cease to exist.
"Communication" is vital, being able to talk about all thoughts and emotions. We talk a lot and believe it or not sometimes those conversations end up in tears. Discussions that end in tears might be scary but, they truly clean the soul and make unity stronger.
Leave the "drama" out. Drama is great in movies or on television. However, in real life, it can become annoying and sometimes even cause problems that don't need to be. So, take my advice; leave the drama for the screens. Take the tension and convert it into passion, and take all the; 'OOH's' and the 'AAH's' to the bedroom and let them out under the cover.
One important thing to remember is that the marriage is between "a couple."
When making the vows you and your partner create a sacred circle that cannot be broken from the outside. It can only be torn apart from the inside, and that is why you should never take a third person into that circle. No siblings, no friends. Not even a mother or best of friends with best of intentions.
There are many other kinds of stuff that can come up at any given time and threaten a relationship. Many battles to face many obstacles to overcome. It is not always going to be a smooth ride, but if every time things get tough and rough you remember that strength is in the union. You are a COUPLE, be HONEST, COMMUNICATE and leave the DRAMA out, you will get through it all while getting stronger as a person and as a couple.