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Jacqueline Head

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The One Thing I Hate About Christmas

Posted: 22/12/2012 00:00

There's a Christmas tree in our living room, decorated with lights and glittering baubles. Orange and cinnamon scented candles are lined up on the dining table, the mantlepieces adorned with cards.

When it comes to getting into the Christmas spirit I'm not much different to the next person - I love the race to buy presents, the elaborate wrapping, the planning of festive food, the extra excuse of going out for celebratory drinks.

But there is one thing I cannot stand about Christmas. The music.

Whether it's old fashioned carols or chart topping hits, the jangly melodies and cheery tunes might as well be nails scraping on a blackboard. Jingle Bells? More like jingle hell.

It's not just because the catchy choruses seem to get stuck in my head for weeks, permeating my dreams and every waking moment, or that the utterly abysmal lyrics fill my heart with revulsion, rather than joy.

It's the hypnotic response of seemingly everyone else on the planet to treat christmas jingles as the most wonderful and uplifting anthems ever written, to the point they're on repeat all day long. And never seem to change, year in year out.

I can forgive the department stores for putting on the usual Christmas CD. I can get past the carol singers without throwing too much of a dirty stare. But when it comes to being forced to spend a day hearing the same strained songs at work, I lose the plot.

It may make me the misery guts of the newsroom, but when I hear Mariah Carey's voice start up or the first few bell-ringing notes of the obligatory carol, I cannot hide my feelings. The strains of Sleigh Ride or Santa Claus Is Coming to Town turns my smile into a scowl, an impromptu singalong to a christmas carol leads only to contempt for my colleagues.

Did I miss out on the worldwide brainwashing? Is enjoying a Christmas carol a trait most people are born with?

Or could it be that everyone else is silently suffering in the same way I do, just managing to put on a braver face when bombarded with the annual Christmas crooning?

I'm all for celebrating. Christmas has no religious meaning for me, but I enjoy the sentiments of goodwill, the feasting, and obviously the holiday.

But can we please do it without filling the airwaves with the wretched warblings of Christmas music?

 

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15:52 on 23/12/2012
I thought she was going to say "Brussel Sprouts". Oh, well.
swampy13
blue is better
04:45 on 23/12/2012
You mean Christmas (baby please come home) by Darlene Love cant't get you in the spirit.
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jac355
Not your average malcontent
04:07 on 23/12/2012
Stop the music! No, I mean stop it. Please! If I hear Elvis, Burl Ives or Perry Como-tose once more, something is going to be broken.
19:56 on 23/12/2012
Mistletoe and Wine starts playing and I head for the exit !!!
02:54 on 23/12/2012
I pretty much agree, at least for me, it just get's old fast when retail places start the music at Halloween !
02:45 on 23/12/2012
You state that "Christmas has no religious meaning for me". There's your problem. You're not celebrating Christmas; you just like to party and get presents and want to horn in on what you perceive as the fun things. You know, as soon as I saw the link entitled "The one thing I hate about Christmas", I just knew it had to be from somebody attached to HuffPo. HuffPo has a surplus of hate for any number of things and this is just an effort by another "non-religious" to stamp out something that has meaning to others. Buy some ear plugs or plug in your iPod and listen to some Black Sabbath.
15:53 on 23/12/2012
Now that's a great idea....Black Sabbath are always worth a listen.
02:14 on 23/12/2012
If you dislike the Jethro Tull Christmas Album you're a Repub.
JEP57
To the right of Genghis Khan
01:44 on 23/12/2012
For one of the best Christmas songs check out on YouTube the duet between Bing Crosby and the UK's David Bowie singing Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth from Bing's tv special from the mid seventies. Bowie's voice soars and it's become a classic.
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DianaLynn1967
It's a great life if you don't weaken!
01:21 on 07/01/2013
I hate that song! I like the Bob Rivers parody "Rummy Rocker Boy." I think the parody is an immense improvement on the original.
thebigbike
ran away to be a cowboy
00:58 on 23/12/2012
I've walked out of stores repeatedly when the Xmas sounds come on. To me the very very worst is The LIttle drummer boy sung by some operatic soprano who drags the " pums" like they were contests for breathless extension
23:02 on 22/12/2012
Not the music I mind so much as the singing; especially the "Nu R&B" style of singing 20 notes where one will do. I don't mind the hymns at church, either, too much, but I wish Santy and Rudolph would take a flying leap up ------. I recommend John Fahey's Christmas collections - masterful acoustic guitar without frills or vocals; I'll break that out once a year.
22:10 on 22/12/2012
I recommended lightening up a bit, and going along with the compulsory seasonal happiness - it is your, and only your choice to fight it.

Seasons Greetings !

Simples ! Job Done ! End Of !
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hukkahukkabirninglove
Wag more, bark less
22:10 on 22/12/2012
Here in the US, we had to put up with a year of political dreck on the TV & Radio and as soon as that ended for a while, we're subjected to the infestation of commercial rhetoric set to the tunes of Christmas music. As Jackie says, the music tends towards dreck to begin with--Target, etc. just make it worse.

The worst one I've heard so far this year is the Chapstick commercial (radio) set to the tune of 12 Days of Christmas. How stupid is it to expect customers to buy chapsticks as stocking stuffers? I mean, really!

So my official endorsement for Carmex, which works better, and doesn't NEED to advertise incessantly! Boycott companies that rape Christmas music!
23:04 on 22/12/2012
Carmex smells nicer, too.
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zevonia
21:47 on 22/12/2012
I commiserate with you Ms Head. I find the constant repetition of xmas music to be quite grating. I work at a company that owns 3 radio stations. So I get the "beauty" of hearing country christmas songs, top 40 christmas songs and regular christmas songs. Ah, the "joys" of the season.
20:57 on 22/12/2012
While I am a music lover and do enjoy Christmas carols and service music, there is one song which grates on every nerve ending; Michael Jackson (when he was a child) singing Santa Claus is coming to town. AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH
20:57 on 22/12/2012
Christmas, the birth of Christ. Is this not a clue as to the time of year or are you a typical journo,thick as a plank.
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zevonia
21:44 on 22/12/2012
You didn't actually read what she wrote, did you? Or you read it and couldn't comprehend it. I suggest checking with your local community college and see if they have any courses for people with your lack of education.
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MacOregon
Yo
17:57 on 22/12/2012
Some people need to lighten up.
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zevonia
21:49 on 22/12/2012
Somebody needs to be straped into a chair and have xmas music piped into their ears for two or three days and then see if they can "lighten" up.
02:53 on 23/12/2012
"I suggest checking with your local community college and see if they have any courses for people with your lack of education. " Does that sentence ring a bell? You might want to follow your own advice by contacting an elementary school that offers a course in basic spelling.