THE BLOG

Walking With Dinosaurs.

18/07/2016 15:20 | Updated 18 July 2016

I've learned a lot while I've been dating dinosaurs. While some can exceed expectations, on the whole they are creatures of habit and like to stick to a rigid routine with not much room for impulsive decisions, no matter how many times they insist that they are "spontaneous, adventurous, not ready for pipe and slippers yet."

I beg to differ.

While it's true that as we age we still think that we're 18 years old, some of these guys are still acting it as it feels like we're still playing the game, 60 year old men who are still keeping their options open even though they're having a good time with you. No matter how many different men try to convince you that they're looking for their last first date, they'll be off in a flash if a woman under 45 years old bats a fake eyelash in their direction. As I have found that the same problems keep cropping up no matter what it says on someone's profile, here's what it's really like to be a woman over 50 navigating the choppy seas of online dating.

Where to meet.

As I live quite close to the centre of Manchester it's easy for me to ask if someone is happy to meet there, and this is when the fun starts. I have rarely had a guy take control as hardly any of them ever venture into the city as "there's no point." Most of the guys live not too far from the centre of Manchester themselves but as they've usually not been there in the last few years they're not really confident about where to meet. Could I recommend anywhere that's not too noisy, not too expensive, and not too far from the tram/bus stop? Because Manchester is so busy isn't it? A thriving, busy metropolis of people that my date will feel out of place in. So that puts paid to the bit on their profile that says "young at heart" but for me that tells me already he's not for me.

Dating Apps.

I would love to be on some of the dating apps that are available but what's the point when I know that there will be virtually no men my age on any of them, so let's just stick to what we know shall we guys, like messaging on the free dating sites where a lot of guys (and ladies) just want a pen friend. So that puts paid to the bit on their profile that says "Willing to try something new".

Trendy Dressers.

I always get a bit nervous when someone describes himself as a trendy dresser as it usually means that just because someone got them some socks one Christmas from Next they now think they're a leader in the style stakes. Nothing wrong with that until they turn up in a long sleeved black polo necked top and black smart trousers with the obligatory gold chain and pinky ring, looking like they still work as a doorman at some nightclub that got knocked down and turned into a car park years ago. Or the striped shirt that's skin tight tucked into black trousers, or even a fleece with jeans and a gelled up hairstyle that would be the envy of any 18 year old male. We're all older and hopefully by now we've developed our own style that doesn't involve dressing like we did over 30 years ago.

Unsolicited Bus Timetable Pics.

I don't get the pictures of a man's anatomy,I get a picture of the bus/tram timetable and the question."Which one will you be on?" This guy usually has an appointment at his favourite watering hole at some point so he needs to plan accordingly. In fact this particular dinosaur has been known to want me to meet him there so he doesn't have to move out of his habitat which puts paid to the bit on his profile that says "Will relocate for the right woman."

James Bond 002

This guy's a bit of an action man with pics of himself running/kayaking/zip-wiring/climbing mountains, so it's highly likely that he won't have much time for you. Most weekends will find him cycling, fell walking, iron man competitions, and the rest which puts paid to the bit on his profile that says "Loves to cuddle up on the sofa and watch a film."

Peter Pan.

Any guy who still looks half decent will be in a last ditch attempt to try and attract the 35 year old that he still thinks he can get.So while you might be getting on really well he's still holding out for the woman who looks and dresses a damn sight better than you and she'll be at least 20 years younger. He will never settle so don't waste your time although eventually he'll probably go and see what Thailand has to offer, and let's face it, you can't compete with that.

Egos.

Some men just want to spend the whole date talking about themselves, they won't want to hear about you and will tell you all about the interesting things they've done in their life. At some point they might ask you, "So, have you ever done anything interesting?" You will definitely never see or hear from them again when you tell them, especially when it's a lot more interesting than anything they've ever done.

Keep strong ladies, sort the wheat from the chaff, he's out there somewhere!

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