THE BLOG

There Is No Such Thing as a Coincidence

03/02/2014 12:08 GMT | Updated 01/04/2014 10:59 BST

I was wondering what I wanted to write about today and so thought I would pick up a book and comment on whatever I read. So I opened at random a book called The New Psycho-Cybernetics, a book originally written in the 1960's about the science of self-improvement. It's message mainly focuses on self-image and how it affects how we think about ourselves and therefore how we act in the world and the beliefs we have about ourselves. (That was very simplistic, I highly recommend this book).

I opened it to the page of 'Being Willing to See the Truth'. This is both about seeing the truth about ourselves as well as what is going on around us. It is also about how we do not often like to admit mistakes because we make them mean that we are wrong or bad rather than just seeing that they were just mistakes and we not have to allow them to skew our self image. If you read many of the autobiographies of successful people they will be filled with not only their great decisions and actions bus also the ones that bombed. The difference is that they did not make that mean that there were a failure. Instead they realised that there is not such thing as failure, only feedback. Learn and move on.

However as interesting as that subject is and however important it is to be honest with ourselves about our successes and failures what was more fascinating to me was that I had only read about this same subject earlier in the day in another publication altogether.

And this leads me to the title of this blog, there is no such thing as a coincidence. Have you ever experienced this? That the same reminders crop up again and again from many different angles? Do you label them as a coincidence or take note? Think about it, how often do you ignore these so called coincidences? Write them off and ignore the message.

There is a great saying which goes something like:

If someone tells you you're an ass you can ignore them.

If a second person tells you you're an ass then you can question it.

If a third person tells you you're an ass - go get a saddle!

I am a great believer that these are no coincidences but synchronicities. Two events that come together for a purpose. They may be to give us a message or they may be that a situation happens that moves your life in a new direction. Before I moved down to Spain we went on holiday there fully expecting to be back in London in a month. We were chatting with a friend who lived in Spain saying how nice it would be to have a house in Spain and she said that many people did just that - had a house in Spain and worked in London paying for the house they hardly ever lived in. If you want to be in Spain - be in Spain she said. At that point a Spanish workman walked by with "Just do it!" written on his t-shirt. We laugh but at the same time it did feel like synchronicity.

So we decided to look into staying in Spain and started looking for houses. We couldn't find anything and were just about to give up and go back to the UK when our friend came home from the bank announcing that she had found us an apartment and a great rent. She had been in the bank waiting to cash a cheque and in Spain you have to be in the bank where the cheque is drawn. Her husband had pointed to the bank she needed to be in and in the queue she had met a Spanish friend. She asked him on the off chance if he knew of Cortijo to rent. No, he replied, but I have just bought an apartment that I want to rent out! Great she said and arranged to see it the next day. What I love about this story is that when she got to the bank counter - she was in the wrong bank!

We are constantly being guided and helped in many ways. For me when I opened the book and saw the section about being honest with myself I knew that I have to take some time and see where I am not being honest about myself today - I already have an inkling but it is good to go and sit with these questions. And for you - stop for a moment and ask yourself, what coincidences have been happening in my life recently that I am not paying attention to? Where do I need to be seeing the truth? What is the Universe trying to tell me?

This is not to say you then go beat yourself about not listening or acting on these synchronistic messages - but rather listen to what you can learn from them and if necessary act on them and then move on through the journey called life.