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X Factor's Sterile Secret Party

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LITTLE MIX
Rex

Being harsh about the X Factor 'secret' party would be very easy. So I shall be.

Held on Wednesday night in London, I was invited (God knows why) to join everyone else in media land and have a squint at the four finalists.

They were to answer questions, pose for pictures and then sing two songs each.

Having watched less than a minute of the tosh on telly, I was in the unique position to judge these singers on their talent alone, unbiased by gossip or favouritism.

It was a bad start. I've been to countless gigs for up and coming talent and without fail, they are attended by very few people of importance within the industry.

So seeing that many photographers and journalists gathered to spread the word about three singers and one band who have never sold a single record and are currently unsigned, annoyed me.

Forget the power of the X Factor and the TV exposure, how good are these kids, really?

In terms of answering questions, they were good. Or bad, depending on your stance.

Clearly media-trained until any residue of personality was buried under layers of bland, safe answers, the Q&A was laughably dull.

A friend next to me asked what the worst advice was any of them had been given by their celebrity mentor.

They declined to answer. Which is absolutely pathetic.

Another pal asked: "When did you last speak to Simon Cowell and what did he say?"

Through stumbling sentences, Marcus Collins, Little Mix, Amelia Lily and Misha B revealed that they had all spoken to him in the last two weeks.

When pressed, it became clear that Cowell had actually communicated with them via Twitter.
"We were all in the room at the time," explained one of the Little Mix girls. Oh dear. Even he doesn't give a ...

With charisma like this, it's no wonder there was an utterly sterile atmosphere in the packed room.

And then they performed. First up was pretty lad Marcus. He's certainly a very good karaoke singer and if you saw him in the pub you'd nudge your mate and say "wow, he's a very good karaoke singer."

But this isn't pub stuff - we're being asked to see these people as potential superstars. He is not a superstar, for all his decent stage presence.

Next were girl group Little Mix. They were average, sang in tune and looked like the girls you see in loads of make-up hanging around in shopping centres with too much perfume on. They were so unremarkable I actually cannot think of anything else to say.

Then little Misha B got up and said she was nervous. Which was a lie.

This girl can sing and was the only one to create a vibe with her Adele cover and stage ownership. Again, good though her voice is, she is not a superstar, although she does deserve some sort of career in music.

Tellingly, the girl group watched from their little alcove, stoney-faced as she sang.

And finally, Amelia, who I was told is 16, which is unfortunate as she looks 28.

She has no stage presence, no character to her voice and hit a couple of questionable notes. She said people compared her to Kelly Clarkson and Pink. What people? Deaf ones?

Sorry folks, you've been taken in. Voting for this lot is a waste of your money. There's no special talent here. And you MUST know it really.

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