THE BLOG

Bank Holidays Before Kids V After

21/05/2015 13:17 BST | Updated 21/05/2016 10:59 BST

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Yippeeee a three-day weekend - except once you're a parent, they're not quite the same, are they?

Lie-ins

Before children - could last for as long as you liked. In fact, if you didn't want to, you didn't have to get up or out of your PJs. At all.

After children - these no longer exist. These little people we have created seem unable of grasping the simple concept of a delicious bank holiday lie-in and arrive to bounce on the bed at 6.30am. Like clockwork.

Pub

Before children - a traditional holiday haunt in the pre-children days. I don't know why, but a lazy pub lunch and a few cheeky vinos, enjoyed in the company of good friends, always seemed to taste better on a Sunday / Monday afternoon when you'd traditionally be at work.

After children - no more enjoying a quiet pint in an old country boozer. Now it's all about the 'Family Pub' - with a children's menu, outdoor garden and soft play zone a must. And rather than securing a spot for the afternoon you want to be in and out as quickly as possible before one of the minis decides to have a meltdown.

Late nights

Before children - after a mammoth session in the pub (see above) you'd come home, order a takeaway and sit up watching rubbish films you've seen a hundred times before - just because you could - all safe in the knowledge you didn't have to get up for work the next day.

After children - like a lie in, no longer really exists. Unless, of course, you want to suffer at the hands of over-excited little ones who will still rise at the crack of dawn the following day.

Traffic

Before children - it wasn't a bank holiday without going for a drive and getting stuck in the world's biggest traffic jam.

After children - exactly the same as above, except now you have fighting and whining from the back seat to contend with along with chants of 'Are we nearly there yet?' and 'I need the toilet' when there isn't one for miles around.

DIY / Gardening

Before children - what Bank Holidays were made for; pottering around the house finishing all those little jobs you've been putting off, catching up with the gardening or washing the car.

After children - you've got no chance of getting these done, without the interference of little fingers who insist they only want to help, but end up causing you more mess and work. Like the time they decided to help wash the car with the sponge they just dropped on the gravel......

Shopping

Before children - another traditional bank holiday past-time checking out the sales including a nice bistro lunch.

After children - only a complete loon would attempt to take children to a busy shopping centre on a bank holiday when the queues are twice as long and waiting around is at optimum levels.

Days out

Before children - these used to be relaxing affairs; a walk along the beach or a mooch around a stately home.

After children - are not for the faint-hearted; theme parks, seaside, adventure playgrounds all bursting with millions of other people who all had the same idea.

Rubbish weather

Before children - this didn't really matter, as you would have been taking solace in the pub or shopping centre (see above).

After children - holy smoly, it's raining, surprise, surprise. And you have a house full of little people going stir crazy who are waiting for YOU to entertain them. Good luck with that......

Relaxation

Before children - if you didn't fancy any of the above, bank holidays were always a good opportunity for kicking back and doing absolutely nothing.

After children - no chance. If you even attempt to lie down on the couch to watch TV, you can guarantee your moment of bliss won't last long as someone comes to sit / bounce on your head / stomach or any other part of your anatomy they can find. Relaxation is a word that appears to have been erased from my dictionary since having children.

Gym / exercise

Before children - OK, who am I trying to kid?! I barely did this before, never mind after having kids.

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