THE BLOG

Why Women in Their Thirties Need to Lower Their Expectations

21/05/2015 12:26 BST | Updated 19/05/2016 10:59 BST

When it comes to finding love, women in their thirties need to lower their expectations. They need to compromise, stop being so fussy and realise that the older you get the less of a position you are in to start making wild demands about what you expect from a partner.

There, I've said it.

Being a woman pushing forty myself, I would like to have a pound for every woman of a similar age who has spent hours reeling off a list of what she requires in a partner, only to follow it up by moaning about how she can never meet anyone.

You can't meet anyone because you are being too demanding.

There are two ways of doing it. Women can be told that they are totally within their rights to only ever consider someone who is over 6 foot tall, with model good looks, who has their own business and no 'baggage' from previous relationships or they can be told that, they can want it, but if they are serious about meeting someone they should be more realistic and, yes, lower their expectations.

There's worse to come ...

Men in their late thirties want to date women in their twenties, and men in their early forties want to date women in their early thirties, men in their late forties want to date women in their late thirties but are likely to have baggage.

Get it?

In other words, unless you are a Victoria's Secret model in her late thirties (is there such a thing?) Then the reality is, you are unlikely to get everything you demand on your shopping list.

And the older you get the smaller the pool of men - without the pressure of a biological clock men don't have the same sense of urgency that women feel, and there 'attractiveness' isn't so directly linked with their age, they have a wider age net to cast, so are either dating women ten years younger than themselves, are married or divorced (and we don't do baggage do we).

Internet dating has made it all the more difficult, when you are reading lists instead of connecting with people in real life, even if it is just initially, it's little wonder women feel entitled to demand certain things from a partner. Giving people boxes to ticks creates an environment where it feels like a viable option to expect certain physical, personal and financial traits and the more lists we have the more people feel it is there right not to compromise.

Lowering your standards doesn't mean saying yes to the first man who comes along, and of course everyone is entitled to have certain expectations when it comes to dating, we all have a type after all.

However, it does mean that you have to be prepared to think a bit outside of the boxes that you tick in order to find what you are looking for - a loving relationship.

Don't compromise on chemistry, but recognise that, insisting every date you go on earns over a certain amount a year, has sandy blonde hair and likes *exactly* the same music as you, means that you're already decreasing pool of available men, will end up in single figures.

To be clear, there is a big difference between lowering your standards and being prepared to compromise - but the reality is, you can either be uncompromising and alone or lower your demands and give yourself a good chance of meeting someone.

And throw away those damn lists - who actually cares about star signs anyway?