I've learnt many lessons growing up depressed and because of it I became a stronger adult. I was 15 years old when my depression started. I was bullied daily in secondary school, failed my classes and I kept being told I was a failure by one particular teacher. I was always the quiet kid in the classroom and always the last to be picked for everything. I hated school and it reached a point where I could not take it any longer, because too much was going in school and at home and that made me mentally unstable. I then started to self-harm and being a Muslim I knew it was wrong but I never knew why? So I carried on self-harming because it helped me release my anger and pain. My obsession with self-harm increased so I began to receive counselling during my lunch hours and my friends were supportive until an incident took place.
I remember one day in secondary school something triggered me and I locked myself in the bathroom. I remember screaming to them 'you don't understand I want to kill myself' and a few minutes later one of the 'cool' Muslim girl's that I looked up to walked in the bathroom and heard the commotion. Since that day she looked after me and made sure I was around her or my friends at all times and never alone just 'in-case'. We started to go home together and till today we are still good friends. We both went to the same college and every day she would help me work on my self-image from speaking to strangers to looking in the mirror and saying 'I am beautiful'.
However, one day my depression was at its peak and I was referred to the NHS for counselling. After the sessions were over I was 'advised' to take anti-depressants but I refused and a month later on YouTube I came across a motivational speaker called Eric Thomas. He was my first introduction to Personal Development and the first thing I learnt was ''you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.'' Then I remembered growing up I fell out with many people, so I made a decision to be around people who encourage personal growth and who are excelling.
I stayed around positive people which became my 'anti-depressant' i.e. learning self-love and growing my confidence. As a result, I started to attract success and soon my personality started to improve dramatically, I went from the quiet girl in secondary school to becoming a public speaker and an advocate for Mental Health. Today, one of my greatest life lessons is the loss of a good friend to suicide and this made me realise the importance of close connections and cherishing loved ones.
A few months before his death I came up with an idea for a YouTube Channel called Dose of Inspiration, which gives others the confidence to believe in their dreams and learn the art of self-love.
The Mental Health Foundation is calling on us all to make 'Relationships Resolutions'. People who make a resolution will receive a text on New Year's Eve, December 31st, checking in to see how they have done and encouraging them to carry their resolutions forward into the New Year. For more information on Mental Health Awareness Week 2016 visit the Mental Health Foundation
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