This whole thing exploded into life on news feeds and social media and any damage limitation that UKIP have feebly attempted to make is too little too late. If you don't know the story, Godfrey Bloom made a mockery of the party, which is quite a feat considering it's UKIP, by referring to women as, 'sluts' at a party conference, meant to show a more 'grown up' political organisation. He followed this by swiping a journalist with a party brochure after he'd questioned Bloom on the lack of black on the front cover. Nigel Farage was furious. I was delighted. It's Punchline time!
Bloom's misogyny prompted me to issue this:
Godfrey Bloom likes his women like he likes his...
And Twitter didn't disappoint.
@GI1970Godfrey Bloom likes his women like he likes his carpets; soft underfoot. He enjoys a deep shag.
Godfrey Bloom likes his women like he likes his lawn; green, well trimmed and easy to walk over.
I knew that this poisonous carbuncle would bring in some fantastic responses. Like these:
@rodgernash: Godfrey Bloom likes his women like he likes his fridge.
And why's that?
@Charisma_Effect: they're cold, white and in the kitchen.
Thanks. The kitchen was a feature in several punchlines, probably because of Bloom's remark several years ago about women not cleaning behind the fridge often enough. What a charmer.
@NickMotown: Godfrey Bloom likes his women like he likes his coffee - white, silent & in the kitchen.
@FemmeDomestique took us a little further with:
Godfrey Bloom likes his women like he likes his dinner. On the table.
You can taste the venom. And there's more to come. The winner of this Punchline Challenge channelled their rage so absolutely that it could be used as an offensive weapon. This satirical sniper set their sights on the sexist serpent and fired off multiple shots. Congratulations to @SandyFootwells:
Godfrey Bloom likes his women like he likes his immigrants; not at all.
BOOM! Like being slapped by a brochure full of xenophobic dogma. But there's more...
Godfrey Bloom likes his women like he likes his tomato plants; below a glass ceiling.
Can it get more cutting than this? Ha ha! Cutting! Tomato plant! Sorry, gardening humour. The answer is yes, yes it can.
Godfrey Bloom likes his women like he likes his costume dramas; from the 1800s.
More Punchline Challenge soon.
*Some tweets have been edited to better suit the article or to correct errors. All original tweets can be viewed by clicking on the @ name links.Suggest a correction