Term starts next week. You can tell by the weather: that bit chillier first thing; fewer zephyrs, more squalls; leaves starting to leave home; darker earlier. Oh, and Dr Who is back on. I think we're supposed to call them 'market indicators', now that business models strut every walk of life and education has been reduced to how many serf-tickets kids can acquire in order to gain the ultimate prize of the DEGREE: a Debt Ensnared Government Regulated Employment Enigma, with few variations.
Don't get me wrong. I like this time of year, with the return of socks, docile streets, and its wood-smoked past. Autumn rarely lets us down, perhaps because expectations aren't too high.
But what will be happening in classrooms up and down the land - after the promise of fresh starts and fresh faces has dimmed; when moral lessons have been drawn from summer turbulence; once mud has splattered the new uniform and routine begins to kick in? Takes about three days, I reckon.
The NUT may flex the odd muscle over pensions and two dozen free schools will get more than their fair share of media coverage, but things won't change much, if at all. For many youngsters, school will continue to mean a grinding pointlessness, a pain in the neck and - for those not knowing the words - a tune they should at least try to follow; in short, the gnash-null-crick-you'll-hum.
Time for radical intervention then - a smidgeon of the Audacity of Hope. Remember that?
So, in response to most educationalists' use of the word 'strategy' every few seconds, I hereby reveal a five-point plan to resuscitate a stricken system, breathe life back into learning, and put smiles back on the faces of inquisitive youngsters and their long-suffering teachers.
1. An annual Children's Day - the final Sunday of the summer holidays, to complement those for mothers and fathers. To celebrate of that is wonderful about kids, along with the giving of cards, flowers, cakes, pencil cases, books and repaired bicycles.
2. Scrap the nonsense of structuring classes by date of birth. From age seven onwards, children learn quicker (and socialise better) alongside those of similar ability, not age.
3. Make all children feel safe, not by introducing more locked gates, but by addressing individual pupils' anxieties and/or behavioural difficulties. Lack of self-confidence and fear of failure are bigger obstacles to a child's well-being than anything else.
4. Insist all teachers begin and end all lessons with something different: dancing, jokes, showing off, word games, silly video clips, I-spy, whatever.
5. Scrap OFSTED and replace it with teams of local worthies - identified, invited and, where appropriate, paid - who can drop into any school at any time. They won't be allowed to carry clipboards or folders. You can tell as more about a school from the number of gulls hovering at break or the language of the corridor than from its policy documents.
Right. What's next?
(More from Marcus on education here. Also recent, a Summer Sojourn triptych)