If you haven't read Samantha Brick's columns in the Daily Mail yesterday and today, then you need to.
She says that from experience, being beautiful is a double-edged sword: men will lavish her with attention and praise, but women are so thoroughly threatened they will attack and undermine her.
The article has resulted in a scathing backlash, from both men and women, and even friends and acquaintances, not only attacking her argument, but lobbing vicious comments about her looks and personality. In today's follow-up piece, she says, "Their level of anger only underlines that no one in this world is more reviled than a pretty woman."
I'm not entirely sure whether Brick is right, mainly because I'm not drop dead gorgeous, to say the least, so cannot confirm or deny her experience. But I think she courageously raises a major issue about whether a woman's looks define how she is treated by both men and women socially and professionally.
So my first question is whether or not she is right. Then my second question is whether or not this really is a gender issue.
I believe her anecdotes of men doing charming and wonderful things for her just because she's beautiful. Men love beautiful women, and why shouldn't they? But actually everyone loves beautiful people. I would be the first to swoon if Matt Damon or Tom Cruise walked past me. And that's not about celebrity, come to think of it. I love that guy with the dark hair and handsome smile who picks up his daughter from school most Fridays.
Still, Brick says, "Without a doubt this is a gender issue. For not only is it mostly women who are attacking me, it is also because I am female that I am being attacked for acknowledging my attractiveness. If Brad Pitt were to say: 'Yes, I'm a good-looking fella', then the world would nod sagely in agreement."
She's right on that point. And I find it thoroughly disgusting that she's received the type of personal abuse and condemnation that she has from raising this issue.
I suppose I agree that women can be incredibly catty and competitive. I wish that wasn't the case because I'm one of those feminists that really does believe that if we all stuck together we'd get much further in making society value our unique contributions. I genuinely wish more women had the self-confidence to wish each other well. The thing is, though, men are very competitive too. It just tends to be about different things, such as status, for example. Maybe it's not a gender issue to be competitive. It could just be human nature.
And so my final observation is this: Sure, in this society looks matter, whether you are male or female, but at the end of the day, just how far does it get a person? I'm sure we could all think of examples of a gorgeous man acting madly in love with a sort of average looking woman. It was probably because beauty is really about being charming, capable, confident and intelligent, and because she makes him happy. And let's not forget that plenty of women have excelled professionally in spite of their looks.
So what is the point here? I guess I do think it's a shame that our society has become so superficial that looks matter so much. To me, the only solution is to work toward achieving a culture that cares more about virtue than superficiality.
In the run-up to Easter, dare I say that the Christians have got it right?
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Yes, Samantha - you ARE more reviled than Muslim women who are spat on in the streets, more reviled than raped and massacred children in war-torn nations, more reviled than the most despised and downtrodden people in the entire world - and I can assure you, it's NOT because you are pretty.
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I don't see anger in the comments she posted in her article follow-up, just astonishment.
Still, Brick says, "Without a doubt this is a gender issue. For not only is it mostly women who are attacking me, it is also because I am female that I am being attacked for acknowledging my attractiveness.
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I noticed that at least half of the replies to her article that she posted were from men. So no, it's not mostly women, at least in these examples.
I think the "gender issue" of beauty and who does and doesn't admire one for it, needs to be separated from the mental disorder issue. Her obvious personal issues muddy the waters in this case.
That said Ms Brick, when you’re next in town, please be sure to pop by and have tea and we can both spend an afternoon in a beauty salon and hope for the best….
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/04/samantha-brick-this-bile-just-proves-im-right/
Someone saying she's like a female David Brent/Michael Scott is the best sum up i've seen..
However, Samantha Brick isn't beautiful. She's just not. She has nothing at all, no proportion or feature, that could be remotely considered classically beautiful. She's not even pretty or sexy or cute. In fact, she's well below average on all counts.
To be called out as below average in looks because you are, in fact, below average in looks, is NOT the same as being attacked by others for being beautiful.
I don't see this particularly as a gender issue. I would feel exactly the same way if it were a man making the same kind of obnoxious comments, and I would also reach the same conclusion that he was full of himself- and would then swiftly steer clear of him! I have many friends who are, it might be argued, significantly more attractive than me, but I love them dearly and I don't see myself in competition with any of them- because they are nice people and we like each other, we have many things in common, and each and every one of us have many other aspects to us which make us interesting, rounded people other than how good we look.
xxxxxx
It's simply not an issue of whether her observations are valid or not- though a perusal of her other DM articles reveals a woman in a small, bitchy meeja world- it's that one reads the article and then looks at the copious photographs and the two just don't match up. She simply isn't a great beauty. People are attacking her vanity, and that's what provoked this brief storm of ridicule.
I think that if she was to converse with some genuinely beautiful women, she might find that it's her narcissistic personality that is disgusting to her peers and causing them to avoid her.